A Story About Finding Assisted Living — Part 4, Sally’s Decision
This is the final part in our story about how we found the best assisted living facility for 82-year-old Sally to live in. Please read the background info here, and the reports about our visits to Assisted Living Facilities “A” and “B.” Below is the outcome of our search . . . .
When we left Assisted Living Facility “B,” I decided to be quiet and see what Sally had to say about the tours we took that day as I drove her back to her friend’s home.
My Thoughts and Assessments
I was wondering if she’d seen enough places? Did she have long enough visits at both facilities to gather enough data to make her decision?
If Sally asked my opinion, I would have recommended Facility “A” for these reasons:
** Physically, the layout was smaller and easier to learn.
** There was a furnished room available immediately in a prime location with a lovely woman who would welcome her as a roommate.
** The Marketing Director took a lot of time getting to know Sally before we even began our tour. He made me believe the staff truly took an interest in and cared about their residents — it was more than just “filling a vacancy” there.
** The number of residents was slightly less in Facility “A,” and, therefore, the staff could get to know each resident better.
** I liked the suburban feel of the area “A” was located in.
As it turned out, I’m really glad I kept my mouth shut!
Sally’s Decision Was . . . .
Sally knew the next step was for her family in New York to speak with the Administrative Staff of the facility she chose to discuss the finances of her new living quarters, and what the move-in steps were they would need to take.
Before I could even ask, “Sally, which place did you like better?” she said: ”When you speak with Mark, you tell him I definitely want to move to Facility “B!” It took her no time to make up her mind!
That really surprised me! But as I thought it over, it made total sense to me. Sally could see herself living among the people at Facility “B” because the majority of residents there had her cultural background! That’s what it really came down to. The demographics and the type of food they serve clearly outweighed the other factors I was weighing in my mind.
My Take-Aways
I had learned these lessons through my previous caregiving experiences with my own parents, but their importance was re-emphasized during my time spent with Sally:
- To keep an open mind because not everyone has the same perceptions, perspectives and values as me.
- As long as a senior citizen (aka Golden Oldie) can make decisions, allow them to do so (unless it’s a matter of their personal safety).
- We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. It’s often better to remain silent and listen, than to speak too soon.
Post Script
Sally moved into Assisted Living Facility “B” within two weeks. Her family flew out from NY to purchase furnishings, decorate her half of the Friendship Suite she moved into, and get her settled in. The other half of her new room would remain vacant until a suitable roommate could be found, but she made new friends there immediately. Sally is thriving in her new home, and I wish her many more happy and healthy years there!
Have you been on a housing search like Sally and I went on? What was the outcome? What factors went into the decision to select one Assisted Living facility rather than another for your Golden Oldies? Please share your story in the Comments section below.
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I have every intention of moving into an assisted living complex when my care giving responsibilities come to an end. I am already on the look out for something that will fit into my budget and geographical preferences. My son is not very enthusiastic about it, but to be fair, I do not want to be to him what my father is to be me. He cannot visualise that, but who knows what is in store for me as I age further.
It has been a great series Linda and I thank you for the insights that you have brought into the subject.
Rummuser recently posted..Gratitude List , December 17, 2011.
Dear Rummuser,
Thank you for bringing YOUR unique perspective to this story. You remind us that through the experience of caregiving, we can gain more insight into and ideas about how we want our own caregiving to turn out! Sounds like you are planning ahead and will create a situation to your liking. Now you’ll have to work on your son buying into your wishes.
Happy holidays and all the best to you and your family in 2012 and beyond!