TV Watching and Our Aging Parents – Part 2

This is Part 2 of a 2-part series.

Click here to read Part 1.

Previously I shared one of my pet peeves about senior citizens living in assisted living or board and care facilities. I believe way too much time is spent watching TV news shows that might create fears, or exacerbate pre-existing ones, that our Golden Oldies have about the world outside their doorstep.

What Can We Co to Improve This Situation?

• Reduce the amount of TV viewing overall. Talk with the facility’s administration about your concerns and request they provide different activities in place of TV viewing. Some residential care facilities offer arts and crafts, musical sing-a-longs, chair exercise and outings to local stores or restaurants. Some have a pet therapist come visit with their gentle dogs. Clergy can visit and lead religious discussions or short services. In some places community volunteers come weekly to read to the residents, listen to music, or be an extra set of hands for whatever activity they find going on when they arrive.

• During visits with family members, turn off the TV and engage your Golden Oldies and their co-residents in conversation or other social activities. The residents are usually thrilled to have 1:1 conversations with all visitors. (You will probably hear words of wisdom being spoken, so keep your radar tuned in!) Puzzles (pre-K or Kindergarten level) and simple games (such as tangrams) are also good ways to engage the seniors’ interest. A game of dominoes is always a hit! Even if they don’t “follow the rules” exactly, go along with whatever they do with them. I’ve used colorful dominoes to make designs or as building blocks with seniors, and then we had a hoot when their creations would come crashing down on the table before our eyes. Caregivers working in the board & care facilities have so many maintenance chores, for the daily upkeep of both the house and residents, they don’t have much spare time to engage the seniors in 1:1 activities, and hence, the TV becomes a “babysitter.” Any time you can spend during your visit to engage our Golden Oldies in activities is a real bonus!

• If you arrive for a visit and the news is on TV, ask the caregivers privately to change the channel to something less frightening. I’ve done this myself, until the caregivers finally realized how concerned I was about this issue and why. Yes, some Golden Oldies are weather or sports “junkies,” which is fine to a degree, but I truly believe the residents don’t need to see and hear the “breaking news” and major news stories normally filled with crime and violence. There are so many shows seniors enjoy! For example, who doesn’t love watching reruns of “I Love Lucy?” No matter how many times I watch, I still laugh out loud at Lucy, Ethel, Fred & Ricky’s crazy escapades. Don’t you? Chances are your aging parents will too — and reruns are on daily in most parts of the world. Another show the residents of my mom’s board and care really enjoy is “The Golden Girls” with Bea Arthur and company. Other alternatives are game shows, Lawrence Welk reruns, and currently the Olympics coverage (providing all is peaceful there as the Games continue). Many cable channels offer a broad range of alternates to TV news: the Discovery Channel, Home & Garden TV, and the Food Network just to name a few. And last but not least, I suggest turning on the cable channels that show old movies and musicals from our parents’ childhood. Or, you can buy DVD’s of these and donate them to the board & care facility to enjoy any time.

• Make a “TV Favorites” schedule written in large print and post it by the TV, so the residents (or caregivers) can easily refer to it during the day when deciding what to watch. In addition, if you notice a special show listed in the daily TV guide the Golden Oldies may enjoy, make a quick phone call to the caregivers to let them know the name, what time and which channel it’s on.

• If you find your Golden Oldies watching a news program you think could be unsettling to them, this suggestion from one of my readers is applicable. Her aging mother lives with her and her husband and they are unable to limit her mother’s TV viewing: “Since she lives with us, we try to compensate with other input, including laughing at something in the news story or the way it was presented to minimize its impact.” (Thank you for sharing this practical idea, Lori.)

So Where Do We Draw the Line?

Several readers have commented it would not be possible to either monitor or limit what their Golden Oldies are watching. Excellent point! Our Golden Oldies range from those still living independently with good physical health and sharp mental faculties, to those that are ailing physically and/or have dementia in varying degrees. The suggestions above mainly apply to those seniors who do not have TV’s in their own homes or bedrooms and do their TV viewing in a community setting with other residents.

I agree that we want our aging parents to keep their independence as long as possible, which includes watching TV shows they want to see as often as they want to view them. However, I also think it is wise for us to be conscious of how much TV viewing our aging parents do in general, what shows they are watching, and their reactions to them. Then take action as outlined above if and when you feel it is warranted.

Do you have any suggestions to add? Have you noticed any negative effects on your aging parents from what they watch on TV? Are you able to monitor and/or modify what they watch? Your comments are welcome below.