6 Responses to “True Confessions: Have you Lost your Cool with your Aging Parents?”

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  1. Sometimes the exasperation I feel explodes into cutting remark or loud and obviously irritated sigh. Thing is, my mom is to the point she forgets about it in a few minutes, if she recognizes the mild put down at all. To bring it up again would be unproductive. I just have to forgive myself, find the saner perspective that it’s not personal, and learn to better let go and let God.

    Your past posts on communicating with Golden Oldies has been instrumental in helping with this!

  2. Dear Lori,

    “To bring it up again would be unproductive.” If only more caregivers could grasp that concept. With memory-impaired individuals, the caregiver must always be the one to apologize and move on, since the care recipient’s brain can’t process enough to do this or, as you say, even remember a harsh word was spoken. Also being able to give oneself is vital, yet so many caregivers beat themselves up for not being “perfect” at all times. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom with us.

  3. My father sulked and wanted to leave my home. I pointed out to him that there was no other place for him to go. He sulked for some more time and since then has just learnt to keep his cool so that I do not lose mine.

  4. Ellen

    My mother tends to hang on to the pain when I lose my patience with her. She cries and looks as if she’s going to collapse, even the next day. I take a deep breath, hug her and apologize that I upset her so. She cries some more, but later that day is usually back to ‘normal.’ She’s the exact opposite when she upsets me, however. She doesn’t apologize and I just have to get over it.
    Thank you SO much for this website. It’s saving my sanity. 🙂

  5. Dear Rummuser,

    I hope your father continues to keep his cool and you do, too. 🙂

    Dear Ellen,

    Welcome to TLeC! Your mother is very lucky to have such a caring daughter as you are to her! Hang in there. Glad I can help in some small way.

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