Tender Loving Eldercare» caregivers

A New Year, A New Perspective on Caregiving

Linda Abbit — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 09:00:57 +0000

Today is Groundhog Day in the United States and Canada. Along with the famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, I’m coming out of hibernation, too!

While I haven’t written here for over a month, my mind’s been whirring with ideas and I’ve been busy planning new, additional features for Tender Loving Eldercare (TLeC).

Why? It all began because . . .

I Became a Caregiver Again

Back in November, my son, age 22, had wrist surgery and I was his full time caregiver for one week post-surgery. From this experience, I was reminded of some prior, and gained new, perspectives about caregiving:

Care recipients are people of all ages, with many different physical, cognitive and/or emotional problems. While my hands-on caregiving experience until November had been with my elderly parents, there are many caregivers lovingly helping people of all ages, with varying levels of health, and in different living arrangements.

Not all caregiving is long-term. Some caregivers only serve for short periods of time, and their daily work can vary from mild to very intense care.

We are also “caregivers” to our pets as they age.

Caregivers are champions of practicing thoughtfulness.

How Did My New Caregiving Experience Impact Tender Loving Eldercare?

After an 18-hour day caring for my son, I’d go back to my hotel room and collapse, both physically and mentally. I needed to unwind in a big way. I needed to re-charge my batteries quickly, get some sleep and be refreshed before my alarm went off before dawn the next morning.

I needed a quick fix of inspiration or motivation, either before bed or when I first awoke in the morning. I realize ALL types of caregivers need that OOMPH to help get them through a long, challenging day! So, while I will continue to write informative, how-to posts about caregiving, I’m expanding my role to become a Caregiver Cheerleader for our TLeC community! No matter what type of caregiving you’re doing, I hope a dose of positivity wil help you on your journey.

How I Will Accomplish This New Goal?

There will be more posts about inspiration and motivation. I will also bring back the popular Friday Funnies, as laughter is always better than tears.

We will present more positive thinking strategies for caregivers to use. (And even if you’re not a caregiver currently, won’t you enjoy some positive thinking tips?)

I will highlight more “Golden Oldies” stories, because my passion for the older generation has not waned. As a society we need to recognize and celebrate their accomplishments and wisdom. This will also include the portrayal of elders in the media and the arts, both pro and con.

Because we are all bombarded with mobile technology and social media, I will also focus more on how technology can aid caregivers, care recipients and their families.

If You Are Already On TLeC’s Email Subscriber List

I will be emailing you about special reports and guides I am writing to help you on your caregiving journey, with early-bird notification before they become available for purchase elsewhere.

If you’re not already on the TLeC email subscriber list, you may want to join now by filling out the brief form found in the top right hand corner of this page, under the words “Caregiving Guide — It’s Free.” When you sign up, you instantly receive the free report about five important caregiving lessons I learned, as a thank you gift for joining our community. You may unsubscribe from this list at any time, and I totally respect and guard your email privacy.

Last But Not Least

If you know any other caregivers who might use even a little bit of inspiration or motivation, please share Tender Loving Eldercare with them. If you have any other topics you’d like me to cover, please feel free to write them in the Comments section below.

Thank you and I hope you are as excited as I am about the new additions to come!

Now . . . I wonder if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow or not? :-)

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Photo Credit: tachyondecay’s photostream

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It’s National Family Caregivers Month — Have You Thanked a Caregiver?

Linda Abbit — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 16:41:40 +0000

Each November is National Family Caregivers Month in the United States. I wrote this tribute in 2008 and wish to share it again to honor and thank family caregivers world-wide.

What is Caregiving?

C is for caring more for others than for yourself

A is for appreciating that all human beings deserve dignity and respect

R is for respite which you need to refresh your body and mind

E is for excellence in all you do for the care recipient

G is for going the extra mile day in and day out

I is for inventing creative solutions to challenging situations

V is for victory over negative and self-defeating thoughts

I is for inspiring others to care more deeply

N is for not giving up when others would in such trying circumstances, and

G is for our gratitude for the TLC you give to others each and every day!

“Day in and day out, more than 65 million family caregivers in this country fulfill a vital role on the care team. No one else is in a better position to ensure continuity of care. Family caregivers are the most familiar with their care recipients’ medicine regimen; they are the most knowledgeable about the treatment regimen; and they understand best the dietary and exercise regimen.” (National Family Caregivers Association)

NFCA coordinates National Family Caregivers Month as a time to thank, support, educate and empower family caregivers. NFC month enables us to:

Raise awareness of family caregiver issues
Celebrate the efforts of family caregivers
Educate family caregivers about self-identification
Increase support for family caregivers

Please read my previous article about eight easy ways to thank the family caregiver(s) in your life.

If you have an idea on how to thank or help a caregiver in some way, please share it in the Comments section below. Thanks!

A Caregiver Logistics Tip and Contest Winner Announcement

Linda Abbit — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:00:48 +0000

I actually heard this idea while at the hairdresser and thought it was simply brilliant!

The woman who came up with this idea has an elderly mother still able to live in her own home but only with the assistance of different caregivers on various shifts during the week. Her mother has dementia so in order to keep track of the front door key from shift to shift, the woman’s daughter attached a lock box to the front door. After they are hired, the caregivers are given the combination for the lock box in which the key is kept. Upon arrival for their shift, they get the key out of the lock box and when their shift is over, they replace the key. Voila! No issues on where the front door key is or who has it!

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The winner of the contest we ran the last few weeks in honor of National Family Caregivers Month was drawn randomly from the entries received. Thank you to all who participated!!

And the winner is (drumroll please) . . . Shiela!

We will send you an email today, Shiela, to get the mailing address you want your prize sent to.

Congratulations!!!

Announcing a TLeC Contest for National Family Caregivers Month 2009

Linda Abbit — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:00:45 +0000

“Music is part of being human.”

~ Oliver W. Sacks

To continue our celebration of and gratitude for all caregivers during National Family Caregivers Month 2009, TLeC is holding it’s very first contest!

It is open to all caregivers, families employing caregivers, and/or eldercare professionals in the U.S.A.

It starts November 16, 2009 and all entries must be received no later than 6pm PST on November 29, 2009. The one (1) winner will be chosen at random and announced here on November 30, 2009. Prize will be shipped to the winner by TLeC.

How to Enter: Sign up for the TLeC Newsletter in the top right hand section of this page, under the blue headline “Get More Caregiving Tips from Tender Loving Eldercare!” Type in your name and email address, click on the “Sign Me Up” button, and complete the one last step of clicking on the link in the confirmation email that will be delivered instantly to your inbox. That final step is important — it both completes your newsletter sign up and also enters you into the contest. That’s all you have to do! Easy Peasy!

What Can You Win?

The prize is a wonderful DVD set called “Toe-Tapping Songs” created by Darlene Hamby, a music specialist in the eldercare field. The set centers around a collection of 20 songs to sing along to. They are all “feel good” tunes, and caregivers, seniors (or Golden Oldies as I like to call them) and their families will enjoy them. It consists of a DVD of a music session, with Darlene playing the piano and singing with senior citizens, and also includes six sing-along song books. Inside the song books, you will find one page dedicated to each song containing the lyrics in LARGE PRINT and a photo to match the song’s theme. It is packaged in a compact binder which is both easy to store and easy to travel with.

Darlene’s love of both music and Golden Oldies shines through as she sings and plays the piano on this DVD. I’ve had the pleasure of participating in one of her live music sessions and I’m sure people of all ages will enjoy having their own sing-alongs with Darlene via this DVD. This set can be used to create fun music sessions during family gatherings or in an assisted living facility’s activity program. It will be a big hit over and over again in either setting!

Here is a preview of the prize:

DVD Sing-Along Music Set

Sample of a Song Page

Toe-Tapping Songs Table of Contents

So get your entries in now! And please feel free to tell others about this contest in your caregiving world as well! Thanks!

Contests for Caregivers during National Family Caregivers Month — November 2009

Linda Abbit — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:00:17 +0000

National Family Caregivers Month is about celebrating and showing our gratitude for family caregivers, both near and far. It is our chance to publicly or privately shine the spotlight on these wonderfully giving individuals.

Here is an excerpt from President Obama’s Proclamation about National Family Caregivers Month, 2009:

The true strength of the American family finds its roots in an unwavering commitment to care for one another. In difficult times, Americans come together to ensure our loved ones are comfortable and safe. Whether caring for a parent, relative, or child, our Nation’s caregivers selflessly devote their time and energy to the well-being of those they look after. During National Family Caregivers Month, we honor the individuals providing essential services to family members who could not otherwise look after themselves . . . . I encourage all Americans to pay tribute and support those who are caring for their family members, friends, and neighbors in need of assistance.

What You Can Do

If you know a caregiver, please take time to thank them for all they are doing for their care recipients(s). And then take it a step further and ask what you can do for them — whether it be pampering them (manicure, pedicure, massage, hair salon appointment?), doing errands or chores for them, and or providing them with some needed time away (also known as respite) from their responsibilities to enjoy themselves in whatever way they so choose.

And what would be even better is to continue this practice all year round — not just this month.

Opportunities to Win Prizes for Caregivers this Month

TENA, an incontinence care company, asked me to announce its first “Caregivers Night Out” sweepstakes.

From October 19th to November 30th, 2009, caregivers from all over the nation can enter to win $100 to spend on an evening out at their favorite Olive Garden ® or Outback Steakhouse ® family of restaurants. Over forty winners from across the U.S. will be announced on November 30th.

To enter the contest caregivers should visit TENA’s site and share a tip or piece of advice about caregiving with others, which may be featured in future TENA email blasts or on their web site. With over 54 years of experience, TENA is the worldwide leader in the management of incontinence, providing products and services for individuals and healthcare service providers in over 90 countries.

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If you are on Facebook there is another contest where you can win a prize for a special caregiver in your life!

Become a Facebook Fan of Care.com and write on their wall about your “Care Hero.” By doing so you automatically enter your caregiver into their contest to win him or her a night out worth $500.

Care.com will select three Finalists each week in November. Each Finalist will receive a $100 dining gift certificate and each Finalist’s nominator will receive a free 3-month membership to Care.com. (Editor’s Note: The first week’s Finalists have already been selected, so enter ASAP to enter for the remaining two weeks of judging.)

At the end of the month, Care.com will select one Grand Prize Winner from among the 12 Finalists. The Grand Prize Winner will receive:

$500 in dining, entertainment, and hotel gift certificates

A bag of goodies from Care.com

The Grand Prize Winner’s nominator will receive a $100 dining gift certificate and a bag of goodies

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Forward this post on now to any caregivers you know or to the families of care recipients so they can enter the contests during National Family Caregivers Month. Please let me know if you hear of other contests like these going on in November so I can let the TLeC community know about them, too. Thank you!

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers — 09/23/09

Linda Abbit — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 09:00:04 +0000

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.

~ Leo Tolstoy

Dear Caregivers,

Whatever challenges you face in caring for your loved ones today, know that with the passage of time these challenges will change.

The current issues will fade, and there will be a new set of challenges awaiting you to solve . . . or at best, survive.

When you’re feeling like you can no longer persevere, remember you are warriors and time and patience are your allies. Hang in there!

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Photo Credit: Nelson Minar’s photostream

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers — 09/09/09

Linda Abbit — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:00:30 +0000

A Great Dog Story

This story by an unknown author was published on the internet and a dear friend shared it with me. You’ll like it even if you don’t have a dog, and you may even decide you need one.

I dedicate it to the many loving caregivers in the world — past, present and future.

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named ‘Lucky.’ Lucky was a real
character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit
they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because
Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably,
someone would forget and something would come up missing.

Mary or Jim would go to Lucky’s toy box in the basement and there the
treasure would be, amid all of Lucky’s other favorite toys. Lucky
always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular
that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told
her she was going to die of this disease . . . in fact, she was just
sure it was fatal.

She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The
night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A
thought struck her . . . what would happen to Lucky? Although the
three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary’s dog through and through.
If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won’t understand
that I didn’t want to leave him. The thought made her sadder than
thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had
anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took
Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just
drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When she arrived
home , Mary was so exhausted she couldn’t even make it up the steps to
her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her
to nap. Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn’t come to her when she
called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.

When Mary woke for a second she couldn’t understand what was wrong.
She couldn’t move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic
soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was
covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While
she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the
basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in
life. He had covered her with his love.

Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again,
walking further and further together every day. It’s been 12 years now
and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky? He still steals treasures and
stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.

Remember . . . live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing
from God. And never forget . . . the people who make a difference in our
lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or
the most awards. They are the ones that care for us!

On Birthdays, Orphans and Family Caregivers

Linda Abbit — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 19:34:54 +0000

Today is my birthday and I couldn’t think of a better gift to myself than to return to blogging at TenderLovingEldercare.com. Thank you again for all of your messages, cards, emails and letters of condolence and support over the last six weeks. My family and I deeply appreciate them!

Am I an Orphan?

Since my mom died in May a few people have remarked that I am now an “orphan.” I probably never would have thought about myself this way if they hadn’t mentioned it to me.

Per the Merriam-Webster.com dictionary definition of an orphan, I suppose I am one: a child deprived by death of one or usually both parents. Even though I am definitely not a child, I was always a child in my parents’ eyes, no matter how old I was. So, technically, I could be considered an orphan, since both of my parents have died.

The Most Famous Orphan in Pop Culture

As I ruminated further on this idea, who should pop into my head?

Little Orphan Annie!

In case you live on the other side of the world, and aren’t familiar with her, here is a YouTube video from the 1982 movie musical “Annie,” so you can get acquainted:

[If you have trouble viewing this video, click here.]

First off the bat, in no way do I resemble her, in this classic portrayal! I do not have red, curly hair. I am not a little girl. And while I do love to dance, I definitely can’t sing!! (My husband says the only Singer in our house is a sewing machine! LOL)

But there are some similarities between Annie and me: I am short , my middle name is spelled A-n-n-e (OK, it’s not pronounced Annie but it’s close) and I do my darnedest to keep a positive mental attitude under all circumstances.

Here are the lyrics for “Tomorrow” written by Martin Charnin (music by Charles Strouse):

The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There’ll be sun!

Just thinkin’ about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!

When I’m stuck with a day
That’s gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day
A way!

As I listened to the song and then read the lyrics, not only do the words resonate with me on a personal level, but all caregivers, family or professional, could use these words as a caregiving “anthem.” While acknowledging the difficulty of the day, the song gives us hope that tomorrow will be a better day, and that we “gotta hang on!” Can’t every caregiver relate to these basic feelings?

My Questions for You

What do you think of this song becoming the Caregivers Anthem? Is there another song that helps you get through a tough day of caregiving?

If both of your parents have died, do you think of yourself as an orphan?

Please share your thoughts below.

Now it’s off for some birthday fun and cheer with family and friends . . .

Stay tuned to TLeC for another interview with a family caregiver coming soon!

And last but not least, it feels great to be back!

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers — 4/15/09: Smiles For You

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers — 2/4/09

Linda Abbit — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:00:59 +0000

We cannot see things that stare us in the face until the hour comes that the mind is ripened.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.

~ Alex Tan

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But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart . . .

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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Photo Credit: iron fillings

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers — 1/21/09

Linda Abbit — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 10:00:13 +0000

Here are five quotes by Martin Luther King, Jr. that “spoke” to me as a caregiver. Do you relate to them, too? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?”

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Everyone has the power of greatness. Not for fame, but greatness. Because greatness is determined by service.

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The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

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We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.

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We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.