On Birthdays, Orphans and Family Caregivers
Today is my birthday and I couldn’t think of a better gift to myself than to return to blogging at TenderLovingEldercare.com. Thank you again for all of your messages, cards, emails and letters of condolence and support over the last six weeks. My family and I deeply appreciate them!
Am I an Orphan?
Since my mom died in May a few people have remarked that I am now an “orphan.” I probably never would have thought about myself this way if they hadn’t mentioned it to me.
Per the Merriam-Webster.com dictionary definition of an orphan, I suppose I am one: a child deprived by death of one or usually both parents. Even though I am definitely not a child, I was always a child in my parents’ eyes, no matter how old I was. So, technically, I could be considered an orphan, since both of my parents have died.
The Most Famous Orphan in Pop Culture
As I ruminated further on this idea, who should pop into my head?
Little Orphan Annie!
In case you live on the other side of the world, and aren’t familiar with her, here is a YouTube video from the 1982 movie musical “Annie,” so you can get acquainted:
[If you have trouble viewing this video, click here.]
First off the bat, in no way do I resemble her, in this classic portrayal! I do not have red, curly hair. I am not a little girl. And while I do love to dance, I definitely can’t sing!! (My husband says the only Singer in our house is a sewing machine! LOL)
But there are some similarities between Annie and me: I am short 
, my middle name is spelled A-n-n-e (OK, it’s not pronounced Annie but it’s close) and I do my darnedest to keep a positive mental attitude under all circumstances.
Here are the lyrics for “Tomorrow” written by Martin Charnin (music by Charles Strouse):
The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There’ll be sun!
Just thinkin’ about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!
When I’m stuck with a day
That’s gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!
The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day
A way!
As I listened to the song and then read the lyrics, not only do the words resonate with me on a personal level, but all caregivers, family or professional, could use these words as a caregiving “anthem.” While acknowledging the difficulty of the day, the song gives us hope that tomorrow will be a better day, and that we “gotta hang on!” Can’t every caregiver relate to these basic feelings?
My Questions for You
What do you think of this song becoming the Caregivers Anthem? Is there another song that helps you get through a tough day of caregiving?
If both of your parents have died, do you think of yourself as an orphan?
Please share your thoughts below.
Now it’s off for some birthday fun and cheer with family and friends . . .
Stay tuned to TLeC for another interview with a family caregiver coming soon!
And last but not least, it feels great to be back!
Click 
Happy Birthday!
Good to have you back!
I don’t know about an anthem. I’d have to think about that.
Nah, I wouldn’t think of myself of as an orphan. I’d just be the elder generation in my family. That’s load enough!
Have a fun day and thanks for including your readers!
Happy Birthday to you … Happy Birthday to you … (imagine really bad singing).
Happy Birthday!!
Thank you for coming to visit my blog at http://www.lipstickwisdom.com and for your comment.
I think there is a huge difference between an orphan and someone who has lost their parents — you still have their love and warmth in your heart and soul — an orphan doesn’t. Its something that can never go away even through death.
Big hugs to you on your birthday.
Karen
http://www.lipstickwisdom.com
http://www.twitter.com/lipstickwisdom
Happy Birthday and welcome back Linda!!
It’s good to see you here again…
I think that song surely could be a caregiving anthem. And I don’t think I’d look at myself as an orphan – I’d go along Lori’s angle above – becoming the elder generation. Although…following Annie isn’t so bad – you gotta love her attitude!
Have a great rest of the day…YOUR day!
I have reflected on Annie’s song many times in my life, and in fact used it as my anthem in many different situations. If it sings to your heart as a caregiver’s anthem, then so be it!
Upon the passing of my mom, I truly felt like an orphan – a strange feeling. However, I’m happy to report the feeling passes, & you realize you are never alone. Our parents are always with us in spirit. We are connected with them in ways we don’t completely understand. I believe God allows them to help us pass through the mourning process & return to the hope & joy they instilled in us as children. How grateful I am for the love of parents & for the inspired rearing of us!
It was wonderful celebrating your birthday with you!!
Happy birthday Linda. Nice to have you back and blogging.
Yes, ‘Annie’ sure can be the caregivers’ anthem.
My personal anthem is “Freedom” (Motherless Child) Remember Woodstock?
I have been a motherless child as is my son Ranjan, and as is my father who now lives with me. Three motherless children, but two with fathers!
Sometimes I feel like an eagle in the sky, a long way from home etc.
I grew up watching that movie about Annie. And it’s only now that I’ve managed to reflect on the lyrics of the song Tomorrow. It’s a beautiful song. The lyrics are simple but profound. Thank you for reminding me.
Hi! I hope you had a wonderful birthday.
I just stumbled upon your blog. First of all, I want to say that I’m very sorry for your recent loss. I’m much earlier in my caregiving journey, so it really helps to learn from people like you who have already been through the struggles and challenges that I will be facing.
I love the message of hope and optimism from Annie and the song “Tomorrow.” That is a great anthem. Another song that has always lifted my spirits when I was really down is “Hard Candy Christmas” by Dolly Parton. It reminds me that when times are at their darkest, there is always light at the end of the tunnel and that I’ll be just fine…
Thanks to everyone for the warm birthday wishes! I really enjoyed my day from morning to night.
@ Lori Hoeck — I agree that being the elder generation in my family is enough “load!” Luckily, my in-laws are still both around, so I can delay wearing that mantle a little longer . . . Can you say denial? LOL If an anthem occurs to you in the future, please feel free to add it here.
@ Karen — Welcome to TLeC! You may an interesting distinction and I agree in my own life situation. However, depending on the age their parents’ pass away, some orphans may still know the warmth and love their parents gave them. Let’s hope so, any way.
@ Lance — Yup, Lori made a good observation about becoming the elder generation, and it is something I will have to come to terms with eventually.
You are definitely an Annie-attitude person as well!
@ Loretta — Welcome to TLeC! I agree that our parents live on through our memories of them, what they taught us,and in how we live our lives. I like how you express an anthem “sings to our heart” — beautifully put! Thanks for being part of my birthday fun!
@ rummuser — I loved the movie Woodstock and do remember it occurring. I was in high school in NY at the time, about 2 or 3 hours away from where it was occurring, but my parents wouldn’t let me go. (Smart move on their part. LOL) Richie Havens has always been a favorite musician of mine and by reading your blog, I can see why you love that song by him. Thanks for sharing!
@ BIO — Welcome to TLeC! Yes, they are “simple but profound” lyrics. Glad I helped you re-discover a beautiful song. Music helps us get through life in many ways.
@ Sherri — Welcome to TLeC — I’m happy you found us. Thanks for your kind condolences. I just listened to “Hard Candy Christmas” again and I want to thank you for reminding me of that song — and the fun movie it was in! Did you know it’s on YouTube here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pttkAyWvAhU
The lyrics certainly can help a family caregiver find hope and inspiration. It’s a gentle and pretty melody with a powerful message. “Me, I’ll be just fine.” I’m going to add it to my iTunes library right now. Thanks!
Thank you for your uplifting entry about orphan-iness! I now understand what my own mother’s sad comment after her father died — “I can’t believe I am without my parents now.”
My own mum died in February, so I understand the disoriented, out of wack feeling you have — especially for caregivers — after the death of a LO. It is a very strange feeling to be a caregiver for years — and then suddenly you are not.
And I would like to add my favorite orphans to your list: The Beaudelaire orphans in the Lemony Snicket A Series of Unfortunate Events. I’m listening to one of the books on tape, and loove it!
Dear ladyofcaregiverland,
Welcome to TLeC! I appreciate your empathy and am so sorry about the loss of your mother as well. This weekend is especially difficult for me because my mom’s birthday was July 4th.:-(
I read one of the Lemony Snicket books with my son when he was little. Thanks for the reminder about how wonderful they are — really written for the kid in all of us! I’ll have to get some of the series from the library on my next trip.