My Mom Turns 99 Years Old on July 4th!

Dear Mom,

Happy 99th Birthday!  You are my Golden Oldie Extraordinaire and I love you with all of my heart!  As I say every time I visit you, “You are the best Mom and Grandma in the whole world!  I thank you for the wonderful life you and Dad gave me!  I am so very lucky you are my Mom.”

Love always,

Linda  XOXO

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My Mom, Aida, is the epitome of what the dictionary defines as a lady — “a woman of refinement and gentle manners.”   Unfortunately, she is now in the late stage of Alzheimer’s Disease.  It’s interesting — every caregiver over the years has commented to me on how she repeatedly said “Thank you!” to them.  Even now, while she has aphasia and rarely speaks, she smiles at them as if to acknowledge their care and help.  And my reply to the caregivers has been, “Once a lady, always a lady.”  In spite of this debilitating and progressive brain disease, she still remains the lady she always was in the depths of her being.

She is soft-spoken.  Kind.  Sweet.  Loving.  Giving.  Caring.  I’d tell you to ask her friends, but she’s outlived nearly every one of them.

My Dad and she were married on October 20, 1928, and had a 76 year marriage when my Dad passed away at age 98 in 2005.  Their relationship is a fabulous example of true love, respect, commitment and communication between a husband and wife.  While she and my Dad may have had disagreements, I never heard them raise their voices at one another in all the years I lived at home.  When my Dad had triple bypass heart surgery at age 84, she gave up all of her hobbies and activities to stay close by his side and “keep an eye on him” for years afterwards.  Such devotion is certainly rare!  As her Alzheimer’s Disease progressed, he, in turn, cared for her until he could no longer do so.

My Mom was able to have a career full time and be a stay-at-home mom full time.  Yes, she got to do both and didn’t have to juggle these roles simultaneously as modern women do.  After graduating high school she was a legal secretary and stenographer for many years.  During World War II, while my Dad was overseas in the Army, she and his business partner kept the company running until the War ended.

In 1951, they moved from Brooklyn to the “country” or Long Island (or Lawn Guyland if you’re a New Yorker) and bought a house.  By this time, they’d been married nearly 25 years and she retired to become a suburban housewife.  At age 40+ she then learned to drive a car.

A few years went by and a huge and wonderful surprise occurred.  They received a phone call from their attorney that a baby was available for adoption and within just a few days, they brought me home from the hospital to their loving home.  Can you imagine back in the 1950’s when being an older mother was practically unheard of?  Well, my Mom was nearly 45 years old, and a new mother for the first time.  YIKES!!!  But . . .  she told me it kept them young.

I am so grateful that she was ready to be a stay-at-home mother at that point in her life.  She taught me so many things — how to play tennis, knit, crochet, and loads of other crafts.  We collected seashells, coins and stamps together.  She and my Dad instilled in me a love of sports, books and live theater.  She wasn’t a great cook by her own admission, but there were plenty of birthday parties, New Year’s Eve parties, summer backyard bar-b-ques and family get- togethers throughout my life.  (You can see the three of us in the photos at the top of this page.)

She was a terrific seamstress and could sew anything, even without a pattern.  She kept my high school home economics final from turning into a disaster.   I struggled but had managed to sew a little yellow and white sundress, and then scorched the front as I was ironing the completed outfit!  With her talented hands, she was able to create an extra layer of “decoration” over the ugly, brown burn mark to camouflage it.  Whew!

She loved gardening and spent hours creating and tending the beautiful garden surrounding our house.  She truly had a green thumb and I believe she could even make silk flowers grow.  Actually, she did water my silk plants once on a visit to my home!   Another passion of hers was antique shopping and we’d spend hours together finding treasures at “Gems & Junk,” a favorite store located a few towns away.  I’ve also been lucky enough to put her Mah Jongg set to good use over the last 12 years, continuing in her footsteps by playing that fun and ancient game.

During those years, along with being my Mom, she also cared for my Grandpa or “Pop” as she called him, who lived in Brooklyn.  She volunteered her time at PTA, our temple and other organizations she believed in.  When I was finally settled on my own and they retired to Florida, she kept their close relationships with neighbors, friends and family through her love of sending cards and writing letters.  I wonder what she’d think of e-mail, Facebook and Twitter!

One funny story in closing that would make us break out into laughter whenever we’d mention it to one another.   My Mom and I drove from Long Island into Brooklyn to visit one of her friends for the day.  It had been awhile since my Mom drove there and as we turned down one of the streets approaching our destination, we noticed several people on the sidewalk waving to us.  We waved back and she continued driving down the street.  More people waved, and she remarked, “My, people sure are friendly in this area!”  All of a sudden, as we approached the next intersection where we were going to make a right turn, it dawned on both of us that we were going the wrong way on a one-way street!!!  They had changed that street from a two-way some time ago and my Mom wasn’t aware of it!  Luckily, no one was hurt and as she parked the car we both were laughing so much we were crying and continued doing so all the way up into her friend’s house.

Some family members will gather at her board & care facility this Friday, July 4th, 2008, to celebrate her 99th birthday.  While she doesn’t speak, we can usually see a twinkle in her eye as she seems to take in her immediate surroundings.  I’m hoping the birthday cake and candles will help her realize that we are celebrating her very special birthday.

And even though she will never get to read this, I  believe in my heart that she knows I am blessed and  privileged to be her daughter!