Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers — 1/27/10: On Regrets
Publicly sharing a true confession earlier this week got me thinking about regrets I have as a family caregiver. Looking back, there are definitely some things I would have done differently while caring for Mom and Dad. They’re hard to acknowledge, and I am very sad when I think about them. I wanted so much to be the perfect daughter and caregiver!
But, I also know I made the best decisions I could based on the situations and the knowledge I had at the time those decisions were made.
I refuse to beat myself up over these regrets. And I try very hard not to dwell on them too often nor for too long.
What about you? Do you have caregiving regrets? How do you deal with them? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
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Often regret is very false and displaced, and imagines the past to be totally other than it was.
~ John O’ Donohue
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People have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen.
~ Barbara Sher
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I have many regrets, and I’m sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret . . . if you have any sense, and if you don’t regret them, maybe you’re stupid.
~ Katharine Hepburn
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I try to own my choices, so I don’t have regrets, just lessons that lead me to greater awareness.
Dear Lori,
Beautifully put! Thank you.
Regrets can be so painful. But, we should not make the mistakes that may change our emotional balance. Understanding is essential in the growth of ones self. So, instead of holding regret, live with a passion to do something differently in some other way in the future. As, we know, the past is gone and we are here to stay, better or worse, even rainy days.
For long-term care options, feel free to click on my name that links to my site.
Hi Ron,
Welcome to TLeC! “Live with a passion to do something differently in some other way in the future.” — such a true statement! Life is change, isn’t it? Thanks for commenting!
I am having a very difficult time with a caregiver regret. MY Dad died on Monday of this week; was 89 years old. We took him to the hospital on Mother’s Day for possible small stroke; after 5 hours they discharged him as unable to find anything wrong. I was driving; my sister riding in back- on the way home he had a heart attack and died. He loved my sister but I managed all of his care- he still lived in senior housing. He and I had a little tiff while he was at the hospital about hygiene. he has an aide who comes once per week but he refused to let her help him with a shower. We have talked about this before- he hasn’t showered in ages and it was hard to be near him. I was sulking and let my sister manage his discharge; never dreaming he would die after being discharged from the ER. I knew I would be over it the next day and we would go on as before but the next day never came for him. I am torn apart with guilt. I rarely argued with him; can only remember twice before and both times over the hygiene issues. Otherwise, he was kept safe and well cared for but I can’t get beyond this huge regret. Please help.