Funny Fridays: Because It’s Better to Laugh than to Cry!

A Love Letter

I will seek and find you . .

I will take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop!

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu

Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get YOUR flu shot!

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An elderly man in West Virginia had owned a large farm for several
years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for
swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts,
and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t
been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon
bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices
shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a
bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all quickly went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, ‘”We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Senior men still think fast.

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A Game to Play in Bed

An elderly, married couple no sooner hit the pillows, when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven points.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”

The old man replied, “It’s fart football.”

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha! I’m ahead 14 to 7.”

Not to be outdone, the wife rips another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, “What the heck was that?”

The old man says, “Half time, switch sides!”

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To everyone in the TLeC community, have a great weekend!

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