Funny Fridays: Because It’s Better to Laugh than to Cry!
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ-conscious people that worry about using cold water for cleaning.
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?”
His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”
Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car.”
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, “Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!”
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Reference Guide for Those Who Have Difficulty Converting Units of Measurement
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billygram
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
365.25 days = 1 unicycle
2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
52 cards = 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
10 rations = 1 decaration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
2 monograms = 1 diagram
4 nickels = 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
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Winter Sucks!
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To everyone in the TLeC community, have a great weekend! 
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Linda, it is now almost 11 pm and I am just finishing up for the day with some comments before I go to bed.
I doubt very much that I will be able to fall asleep soon remembering your post.
Thank you for cheering me up at the end of a very tiring and long day.
If you look in the mirror and see a beer belly, bald head, big red nose, varicose veins and a complexion like leather, look at the brighter side…..At least your eye sight is good.
Oh, now those were all quite fun! THANKS!
Hi Linda. The first and second ones… both successful groaners. The video… priceless! LOL.
Have a great weekend Linda.
Loved ‘em all Linda! What a great way to start my morning!! Being here in Wisconsin, buried in snow – I especially loved the video!!
Hi rummuser,
Thanks for sharing your joke with me! Sorry to make you possibly lose sleep, but I am pleased to add some smiles at the end of your long & tiring day!
Hi SpaceAgeSage — Lori,
Giggle, guffaw, snortle. You’re welcome!
Hi Davina,
OK, some are groaners, but they still make me laugh. Hope you have a great weekend, too.
Hi Lance,
Sorry about the snow & cold. I remember it well from living in NY for many years. I am not taking our 80 degree difference in temperatures this weekend for granted either — never will! Happy to bring some laughter into your life.
Hi Linda – As always, I’m laughing as I type my comment. I love your Funny Fridays. The video is precious. Can you imagine?
Hi Barbara Swafford,
I think I’d cry if I was that man in the video! But it’s better to laugh . . .
BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! That’s hilarious!