Funny Fridays: Because It’s Better to Laugh than to Cry!
All I Needed to Know About Life I learned from Santa
1. Encourage people to believe in you.
2. Always remember who’s naughty and who’s nice.
3. Don’t pout.
4. It’s as much fun to give as it is to receive.
5. Some days it’s OK to feel a little chubby.
6. Make your presents known.
7. Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.
8. Bright red can make anyone look good.
9. Wear a wide belt and no one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained.
10.If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you’re very important.
11.Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say:”HO, HO, HO!”
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Doctor: So what seems to be the problem?
Patient: I have an irrational fear of Santa …
Doctor: Sounds like you are Claus-trophobic.
(Rimshot!)
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A Jewish mother gave her son two neckties on Chanukah.
When she came over to visit, the boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his mother had brought him, and hurried back. “Look, Mama! Isn’t it gorgeous?”
“Mama asked, ‘What’s the matter? You don’t like the other one?’”
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To everyone in the TLeC community, have a wonderful holiday season! I’m off to enjoy time with my family — hope you do, too! And remember to always cherish the Golden Oldies in our lives.
See you in 2009! 
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Hi Linda. That was cute. I think I’ll borrow this tip, “Wear a wide belt and no one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained.” Happy holidays to you.
The doctor/patient one is great!
Have a wonderful and safe holiday Linda! Enjoy all the moments you’ll have with your family…
Hi Davina,
Yes, I never knew I’d get fashion advice from Santa — but it works for me, too. Happy Holidays to you & yours.
Hi Lance,
Glad you enjoyed it. Holiday wishes back at you & yours!
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and he said “no”. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them.” Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”
George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”
Don’t mess with old people!!
Hi rummuser,
Laughing out loud! Great one — thanks for sharing!