I’m so sorry to hear about your tough family situation. My suggestion would be to contact the Family Caregiver Alliance and seek advice. Here’s the url to their website: http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/home.jsp

I do hope things get better for everyone in your family.

My mother has dementia and is diabetic and is 87 yrs old. My problem is not my mother up until now. My sister and myself have a brother problem. He is PTSD ([Post Tramatic Stress Disorder). He is a Vietnam Vet. who wented to Vietnam 2 times, is an Aloholic who is currently not drinking. His last episode was January and February 2010. He is the problem. For many years, he has lived with my mom and has had the freedom to be the disfunctional alcoholic person he is for many years. Now that my mom needs constant care, it is a problem. For many years he doesn’t listen to my mom and he doesn’t liston to us. He feeds the neighborhood cats in the front hard which results in flies. He has 2 beagle dogs that are not being cared for properly, for years (I consider this animal neglect). He feeds them in the backyard porch which in the summer time causes a rat problem. Because he lives like a slob and has a very unsanitary room, this results in a roach invested room which results in the whole house being invested with roaches. Please keep in mind when you enter the house the living room and the dining room look fine. That’s is because we do a very good job in keeping the rooms clean. The other day we had to deal with magots in the family room. I am and my sister are at our wits ends. I called Adult Protected Services and it did no good. It backfired on me. They did not even investigate his room. I am going to therapy. I have called the Veterans Administration and talked to his social worker and I am currently dealing with the Alamo Area Council of Government of Aging. My problem is not caring for my mother; however, my mother is a classic enabler for many years. My brother can do no wrong. She has made that clear for many years. Because she needs constant care, my sister and myself are spending more time cleaning after my brother. Because of what happened tonite and readng this website. I believe my mother’s dementia has turned into a different stage. All I could do was cry when I read parts 1 & 2. All the respone I have been getting from my therapist, the VA’s social worker, the psychiatrist from a caregiver’s workshop on depression was to call Adult Protective Service. I did that and it backfired on me. I AM AT MY END OF MY ROPE. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE, If ANYBODY CAN OFFER ANY RAY OF HOPE, PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR INSIGHT.

What am I doing wrong?

Sylvia