Thank you vey much for sharing the wonderful story of this interesting man, his horse and their London Olympics’ qualification! I’ll be sure to look for them on TV this summer. And happy birthday to you, a month early.
Linda Abbit recently posted..Geraldine Watson Parachutes for the First Time at Age 85

Except I am one person. And I also have my own serious chronic physical health issues for which I’ve been operated on and under medical care for many years. I need my full-time job to support a roof over my head and my health insurance/care. I am tired of “Monday morning caregiving quarterbacks” who comment on, critique, and advise me on what I do or don’t do, and when and how, regarding my caring for my parent. If only they would, as I like to say, be better at “thinking it through,” realizing that at the end of the day, they can say or do all they want–but in the end, it’s me who can’t walk away and who is responsible for the decisions, not them.

And oh, how people take it for granted when they also don’t think through about how they might have siblings, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, spouses, and the like, who can help divvy up the work and the personal support–on physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, and all levels. They are not there day-in, day-out, when I must divide myself in at least 3 different directions holding down a job, taking care of my own health, and then supporting my mom in all different ways, making phonecalls, doing the bills, arranging services. I am not good at and cannot do everything. I try. So does my mom–I’m so proud of her! I’ve never had the practice at doing this before, it was my first widowed parent. Ditto the first time for my mother.

So if you ever see me, and wonder how or why I didn’t do this for my mom yet, seemingly, or why this is such a way or she wants to live a certain way, or I cannot be there at a moment you expect it or do not understand how I am living my life while attempting to help mom with the best quality possible for hers–please “think it through,” and give me a break and be thankful that it’s not you who is the only-child caregiver and having to handle it all. I wouldn’t trade these past several years for anything, giving back to my parent and trying to say “thank you” in very small return measure for the countless hours, things, and sacrifices she made for me. But while my parents chose to have me, my life is not my own in middle age now, and that will have to wait until later. Please be patient with us and with me, and with all us caregivers of all types in general.

My Mother says very mean and hurtful things and a lot times it comes out of blue. No one seems to know what she’s angry about and she’s not good at explaining the reasons…she just says that everyone knows why she’s upset. I’m her daughter and I have to admit, even I don’t always know what’s making her angry.

She is in her early 70′s….she won’t drive a car (she used to until one of her grandchildren (sister’s son) told her that she drove too slow and didn’t know what she was doing) and hasn’t since she’s been in her early 50′s. She won’t leave the house when people invite her to go shopping, out to eat, etc. Unless….I’m there. She always goes out when I visit.

My daughter and grandchildren tend to either ignore her or just let her rant and believe me, she can get pretty hateful and mean, sometimes. She’s always been considered the “favorite” Aunt and Sister in her family when she was younger.

She won’t stay in contact with her family and believes that no one cares about her. There are times, though when she’s so full of life and happiness…wanting to help everyone and be around others, but then, all of a sudden…she’s angry and doesn’t want anything to do with anyone. And, she feels that everyone ought to know why and do something about it – whatever that is at the moment.

I love her so much and usually get along with her without any problem. However, there’s times when she does the same thing to me….out of nowhere and we have to figure out for ourselves what might’ve made her angry. Usually, it’s nothing to do with what we might think it is.