Tender Loving Eldercare» Inspiring Quotes

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying – 2/29/12

Linda Abbit — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 09:00:29 +0000

You may think this will be a depressing read because it mentions death, but it’s actually life-enriching! These ideas apply to all of us, whether we’re past, current or future family caregivers or care recipients.

Earlier this month I read an article at AARP.org by Bronnie Ware that really resonated with me. Ware is a hospice team member, whose patients were people who had gone home to die. She was with them for the last three to 12 weeks of their lives.

“People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal . . . every single patient found peace before departing. Every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced.”

Here are the most common themes and part of Ware’s commentary on each:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled . . . It’s important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way. It’s too late once you lose your health. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

I wish I didn’t work so hard.

All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do.

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they
settled for a mediocre existence . . . although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved.

I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called “comfort” of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content . . . How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

I really love Ware’s last line in this article:

Life is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously, choose wisely and choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Which of the above thoughts hits closest to home for you?

What actions will you take today to create a richer, more meaningful life before it’s too late? Please share your ideas in the comment section below!

You can read the full article online by clicking here.

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: Happy Holidays — 12/20/11

Linda Abbit — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 09:00:40 +0000

We are really advocates of just getting as happy as you can be—which takes care of everything.

Even if you don’t have reason to be happy—make it up. Fantasize it. Make a decision that you’re going to be happy one way or another—no matter what.

“No matter what, I’m going to be happy! If I have to ignore everybody; if I have to never watch television again; if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I’m going to be happy.

If I never have to see that person’s face again, I’m going to be happy. If I have to see that person’s face, I’m going to find something to see in that person’s face that makes me happy.

I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be happy.”

~~ Abraham

SEASON’S GREETINGS TO MY WONDERFUL TLeC COMMUNITY AND ALL THE BEST TO YOU & YOURS IN THE NEW YEAR!

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: Endings and Beginnings — 10/26/11

Linda Abbit — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:55:26 +0000

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Photo Credit: The U.S. National Archives’ photostream

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: Are You Feeling Old? — 7/27/11

Linda Abbit — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 18:27:27 +0000

The very wise Seth Godin recently posted this on his blog:

When did you get old?

At some point, most brands, organizations, countries and yes, people, start talking about themselves like they’re old.

“We can’t stretch in that direction,” or “Not bad for a 60 year old!” or “I’m just not going to be able to learn this new technology.” Even countries make decisions like this, often by default. Governments decide it’s just too late to change.

The incredible truth is this: it never happens at the same time for everyone. It’s not biologically ordained. It’s a choice. It’s possible to put out a hit record at 40, run a marathon at 60 and have your 80 year old non-profit change its business model. It’s not as easy as it used to be, but that’s why it’s worth doing.

Here is a visual of what he’s talking about:

If you can’t see this video in your browser, click here.

So tell me . . . are you feeling old now?

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: Don’t Be Discouraged — 5/25/11

Linda Abbit — Wed, 25 May 2011 09:00:34 +0000

“Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb but how well you bounce.”

~ Vivian Komori

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“There is nothing which persevering effort and unceasing and diligent care cannot accomplish.”

~ Seneca

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“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength

to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”

~ Christopher Reeve

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“The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of

persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.”

~ Napoleon Hill

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Photo Credit: ★ spunkinator’s photostream on flickr

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: Words Matter — 3/9/11

Linda Abbit — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 09:00:38 +0000

In honor of Words Matter Week, here are ten of my favorite quotes about words and how family caregivers can best use them . . . or not.

“Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.”

~ Blaise Pascal

“The most important things are the hardest things to say.

They are the things you get ashamed of because

words diminish your feelings – words shrink things that seem timeless when

they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.”

~ Stephen King

“I soothe my conscience now with the thought that it is better for hard words

to be on paper than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.”

~ Anne Frank

“A bad word whispered will echo a hundred miles.”

~ Chinese Proverb

“Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts.

I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”

~ Bill Watterson

“We cannot learn from one another until we stop shouting at one another –

until we speak quietly enough so that our words can be heard as well as our voices.”

~ Richard M. Nixon

“Silence is more eloquent than words.”

~ Thomas Carlyle

“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter.”

~ James Earl Jones

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”

~ Mark Twain

“Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself,

the most comforting words of all – This, too, shall pass.”

~ Ann Landers

Are you careful with the words you use when you speak to your care recipient?

Do you listen to their words? Really listen?

Are you careful about what your body language says?

Are you careful with your words even when they’re asleep (or ailing) and you don’t think they can hear you?

Words matter — truly they do!

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This post is my reply to the Words Matter 2011 Day 3 Blog Challenge.

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: On Farewells — 1/12/11

Linda Abbit — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 17:39:38 +0000

Man’s feelings are always purest and most glowing

in the hour of meeting and of farewell.

~ Jean Paul Richter

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How lucky I am to have something that

makes saying goodbye so hard.

~ Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, from Annie

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The reason it hurts so much to separate is

because our souls are connected.

~ Nicholas Sparks

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Each time you leave your Golden Oldies (aka aging parents or relatives) I want you to pause and ask yourself this question:

“If I never see them again, will I be content with the visit we just had and how our farewell went?”

If you can’t answer that question with a strong “Yes,” turn around, go back inside and make things right.

Life is fragile. You won’t regret it.

This blog post is part of a month-long series of ideas, tips and quotes for family caregivers. View additional posts from our “Caregiver Thought of the Day” feature on our Facebook page.

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: Merry Christmas and Happy 2011

Linda Abbit — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 17:23:14 +0000

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”

~ Oprah Winfrey

My hopes for the coming year are for peace to prevail in this turbulent world, may good health continue for yourselves and everyone you hold dear, and may we all make time to laugh, love, dream and appreciate everything we have in our lives!

I’ll be taking a brief break from blogging to enjoy family time during the holidays, and will pick up where we left off after New Year’s. In the meantime you can keep in touch with me and Tender Loving Eldercare on our new Facebook page. Come see what we’re sharing over there!

Please also remember I am just an email or phone call away if you have caregiving challenges I can help you with. Click on the “Consulting Services” tab above for my contact information.

Merry Christmas and best wishes to you and yours throughout 2011!

Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers: On Miracles — 12/1/10

Linda Abbit — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 20:12:05 +0000

In the United States we are entering the holiday season when we celebrate miracles that happened in the past. But caregivers, both family and professional, make miracles happen each and every day for their care recipients.

“When we do the best that we can, we never know what

miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.”

~ Helen Keller

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“A strong positive mental attitude will create

more miracles than any wonder drug.”

~ Patricia Neal

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“The miracle is this — the more we share, the more we have.”

~ Leonard Nimoy

Seeing the sparkle in an aging parent’s eyes when you squeeze their hand and smile, even if they can’t speak nor even know who you are. Making that special connection with a Golden Oldie is a miracle I’ve personally experienced.

Have you experienced a miracle? Please share it in the comment section below.

Photo Credit: schani’s photostream

It’s National Family Caregivers Month — Have You Thanked a Caregiver?

Linda Abbit — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 16:41:40 +0000

Each November is National Family Caregivers Month in the United States. I wrote this tribute in 2008 and wish to share it again to honor and thank family caregivers world-wide.

What is Caregiving?

C is for caring more for others than for yourself

A is for appreciating that all human beings deserve dignity and respect

R is for respite which you need to refresh your body and mind

E is for excellence in all you do for the care recipient

G is for going the extra mile day in and day out

I is for inventing creative solutions to challenging situations

V is for victory over negative and self-defeating thoughts

I is for inspiring others to care more deeply

N is for not giving up when others would in such trying circumstances, and

G is for our gratitude for the TLC you give to others each and every day!

“Day in and day out, more than 65 million family caregivers in this country fulfill a vital role on the care team. No one else is in a better position to ensure continuity of care. Family caregivers are the most familiar with their care recipients’ medicine regimen; they are the most knowledgeable about the treatment regimen; and they understand best the dietary and exercise regimen.” (National Family Caregivers Association)

NFCA coordinates National Family Caregivers Month as a time to thank, support, educate and empower family caregivers. NFC month enables us to:

Raise awareness of family caregiver issues
Celebrate the efforts of family caregivers
Educate family caregivers about self-identification
Increase support for family caregivers

Please read my previous article about eight easy ways to thank the family caregiver(s) in your life.

If you have an idea on how to thank or help a caregiver in some way, please share it in the Comments section below. Thanks!