The Path

Every caregiver takes the same path I did — from denial . . . to acceptance . . . to overcoming whatever the unique caregiving challenges are.

I have walked in your shoes. You are not alone!

Here are some of my favorite quotes to help you on each part of this journey.

DENIAL

It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

~  Bill Watterson

You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.

~ J. Donald Walters

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ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.

~  William James

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it.

~ Chinese Proverb

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OVERCOMING CHALLENGES

Beginners and outsiders are open to possibilities and don’t make assumptions. By extension, they’re often better at finding solutions the experts have stopped seeing.

~ Michael McMillan

Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition – such as lifting weights – we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.

~ Stephen R. Covey

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Photo Credit:  richardefreeman’s photostream

Publicly sharing a true confession earlier this week got me thinking about regrets I have as a family caregiver.  Looking back, there are definitely some things I would have done differently while caring for Mom and Dad.  They’re hard to acknowledge, and I am very sad when I think about them.  I wanted so much to be the perfect daughter and caregiver!

But, I also know I made the best decisions I could based on the situations and the knowledge I had at the time those decisions were made.

I refuse to beat myself up over these regrets.  And I try very hard not to dwell on them too often nor for too long.

What about you?  Do you have caregiving regrets? How do you deal with them? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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Often regret is very false and displaced, and imagines the past to be totally other than it was.

~ John O’ Donohue

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People have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen.

~ Barbara Sher

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I have many regrets, and I’m sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret . . .  if you have any sense, and if you don’t regret them, maybe you’re stupid.

~ Katharine Hepburn

Patience is the name of the lion on the south side of the New York Public Library.

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.

~  C. S. Lewis

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.

~ Arnold H. Glasgow

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Photo Credit:  ori0nis’ photostream

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.

~ Oren Arnold (1900-1980)

No matter where you live, whether it’s warm, cold, snowing or raining outside, I hope you will get cozy and immerse yourselves in the joys of the holiday season with family and friends.

There is nothing more important for the human spirit than connecting with others who are dear to you!

Thank you for reading my words of advice, inspiration and humor this year!

Happy Holidays and see you in 2010!

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Photo Credit:  Matti Mattila’s photostream

Please watch at least the first two minutes of the following inspiring video.

The quality of the film isn’t super sharp, but the message is clear as a bell!

If you have trouble viewing the above, please click here.

When I dance, I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole.  That is why I dance.

~ Hans Bos

And if dancing isn’t your “thing,” what activity, interest or pastime in your life provides you with the utter joy and sense of accomplishment this Golden Oldie has found through dancing?  Once you’ve identified it, make time to indulge in whatever that activity is, both to simply pamper yourself and to forget about the stress and strains of everyday life for awhile.  You deserve it!!

P.S.  In researching this video, I’ve read reports that the woman is either in her 80’s or 90’s.  Her exact age doesn’t matter, as this proves that age is truly just a number.  She is young in heart and spirit, not to mention flexibility!

Please feel free to share whatever your diversion is in the comment section below.  Mine is also dancing — but a different kind called Lindy Hop or Swing Dancing.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity . . .  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

~ Melody Beattie

At this time of gratitude and reflection, I’m thankful to everyone in the TLeC community for your continued support during a year that was difficult for me  due to the loss of my mom in May.  Your thoughtful comments, encouragement, and the conversations we create here mean the world to me!

I hope you enjoy fun times with family and friends this holiday weekend.  Cherish the time together because that’s what life is truly all about!

And while you’re at it, take a moment to thank a caregiver, too!

Check back on Monday to see who wins the prize in our contest!  It’s not too late to enter — entries are being accepted until Sunday PM.   Have a great weekend!

I’m excited to share this blogging project with everyone here at TLeC and beyond!

Two bloggers, Lance Ekum and Joanna Sutter, teamed up to create a very special e-book and in doing so make a difference in the world.  They asked writers worldwide to contribute articles to their unique and on line vision of a Race for the Cure.

If “Race for the Cure” rings a bell, it is because the Susan G. Komen Foundation holds fundraisers with that name in cities nationwide on their mission to end breast cancer and raise awareness about this life-threatening disease. I’ve participated in our local Race for the Cure many times. And as a grateful breast cancer survivor for over 13 years, the Susan G. Komen Foundation is a charity near and dear to my heart.

A total of 150 writers contributed a favorite article to this e-book, creating a wonderful collection of stories.  Stories of inspiration, personal growth, fitness, food, humor, and more.  I am thrilled and honored to be part of this special e-book.

Today I am asking for your support in this effort.

Breast cancer has affected countless millions of people – from the women and men who have had this disease, to their family and friends who love them.

Estimates show that breast cancer is newly diagnosed in approximately 200,000 women each year.  And while the risks are much lower, men are not immune from this disease either.  That’s about 550 new cases of breast cancer EVERY DAY.

The Susan G. Komen for the Cure, founded in 1982, has become the world’s single largest source of nonprofit funds dedicated to curing breast cancer at every stage from the causes to the cure.

Please visit the Susan G. Komen Blog-4-Cause website to learn how you can support the mission to end breast cancer.  In addition, you’ll find information on how to receive this Blog-4-Cause E-book as a gift to you.  A bonus e-book, from author and life coach Tim Brownson, is included as well.

Together we can all make a difference.

Thank you for your support in ending breast cancer forever!

Your care recipient will survive your absence for this short period, and will gain from it in the long run — as you will return to your responsibilities with a lighter heart and clearer mind.  It’s a win-win for everyone involved.

OK.  Maybe the doctors are right about how good exercise is for you.

Ruth Frith was the oldest female athlete participating in the World Masters Games in Sydney earlier this month.  Not only did she win the gold medal in the shot put competition, but she also set a new world record with her 13 feet, 4.2 inches throw (4.07 meters).

Did I mention Ruth is 100 years old?!

The great-grandmother of 11 is also a hammer and javelin thrower and believes other seniors should follow her example.

Frith trains five days a week, regularly lifting 35 kg (77 lb.) weights.  She doesn’t drink or smoke and she doesn’t eat vegetables either, claiming she hasn’t liked them since she was young.

Frith was one star of the World Masters Games — an event which attracts about 28,000 athletes — and despite her age, said she has no plans to retire just yet. She competed in her first World Masters Athletics Championships at the age of 74.

The oldest male competitor was Reg Trewin, age 101, who competed in lawn bowling.  And Ralph Howard, the gold medal winner in rowing, is 91 and has been rowing for 75 years!

The World Masters Games have been held every four years since they began in Toronto in 1985.  Open to people of all abilities and most ages, the games are the world’s largest multi-sport event, attracting twice as many competitors than the Olympic Games, according to the website (www.2009WorldMasters.com).

The main difference between the World Masters Games and the Olympic Games is that World Masters are open to people of all abilities rather than just elite athletes, with the emphasis on participation. I love the Games motto:  “Fit, Fun and Forever Young.”

My hat’s off to Ruth Frith, a Gold medal winning Golden Oldie!

Does this inspire you to exercise more . . . or to at least begin an exercise program?  To take up a new sport?

Do you think it would inspire the Golden Oldies in your life to exercise or be more physically active in some way if you share this story with them?  Please comment below.

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.

~ Leo Tolstoy

Dear Caregivers,

Whatever challenges you face in caring for your loved ones today, know that with the passage of time these challenges will change.

The current issues will fade, and there will be a new set of challenges awaiting you to solve . . . or at best, survive.

When you’re feeling like you can no longer persevere, remember you are warriors and time and patience are your allies.  Hang in there!

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Photo Credit:  Nelson Minar’s photostream