Our son is home from college for Spring break and there has been continuous talk (aka agonizing) over March Madness around here.
“March Madness” refers to the U.S. men’s collegiate basketball tournament that began this week. Don’t worry if you haven’t heard of it — I hadn’t either until our son started thinking about what college he wanted to attend. 
So in honor of March Madness, and with great hope the University of Arizona team will go far in the tournament, here is a collection of basketball humor, along with a fun article about how vasectomies and March Madness go together. Enjoy!
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“The sport of basketball is 113 years old today,” Jay Leno reported on December 1st, 2004. “Did you know James Naismith came up with the game as a way to keep young men away from women and out of trouble? . . . . Well, that sure worked well!”
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Q: Why do basketball players love cookies? A: Because they can dunk them!
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“He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in an interview with his coach. “But’s how’s his scholastic work?”
“Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach.
“Wonderful!” said the sportswriter.
“Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.”
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I play in the over-50 basketball league. We don’t have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend over and pick it up gets possession.
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Here is a commentary by John Kelso in the Austin American-Statesman about a promotion a urology group is having during March Madness:
Big Dance Meets the Big Snip: Men, Stop Squirming
Vasectomy? Ouch. So pull up a couch – and watch some hoops.
By John Kelso
Friday, March 06, 2009
The winning team at a basketball tournament snips down the nets. Then there’s the snipping that goes on when a guy gets a vasectomy.
So it was a natural fit when an Austin urology business decided to use the NCAA men’s basketball tournament – otherwise known as March Madness – to promote the procedure.
This is cutting-edge material. Talk about a bracket-buster.
“You know, the thing that really spurred this whole thing is that so many men aren’t interested in sitting still very long,” said Vikki Smith, community liaison for The Urology Team, a practice with eight surgeons. “So we thought what could be a more natural combination than sitting in front of a TV set for three days and getting a vasectomy? It’s the perfect excuse to look at the wife and say, ‘Honey, I’ve got to stay on the couch for three days. Doctor’s orders.’ ”
The name of the hoops/whoops promotion is Vas Madness. As opposed to March Madness. Vikki pointed out that one of the Urology Team members is Dr. Richard Chopp. But she said that Dr. Chopp will not be performing vasectomies during Vas Madness.
This is a marketing blunder. If you’ve got a vasectomy expert named Chopp on your team, and you’re running a basketball special, why bench the guy? “His patients all go home with a camo T-shirt that proudly proclaims ‘I got chopped at the Urology Team,’ ” Vikki wrote in an e-mail.
What better time for a guy to get himself done than during the NCAA Tournament? After all, back in the old days, the refs referred to the infraction of traveling as “double dribble.”
“I think there’s probably all sorts of familiar words we could use,” Vikki said. “They just won’t be traveling. At least for a few days.” She pointed out that doctors recommend vasectomy patients “take it easy for about three or four days.”
Vikki said that men getting vasectomies at the business’s clinic on Jollyville Road will be able to watch the NCAA tournament games on TV in the waiting area, although she didn’t seem to know which days the actual tournament games are on.
“Then we’re going to have a little popcorn and snacks out for everybody,” she said. “We try to create sort of a sports bar atmosphere without the alcohol and smoking.”Anyway, it sounds like one heckuva party. “All of our doctors, everybody who is working in the clinic after hours, will be wearing their favorite team’s T-shirt,” Vikki said.
And, adding to the fun, each patient will get a bag of frozen peas as part of the recovery kit.
“It’s sort of like using Silly Putty as opposed to a brick,” Vikki explained. You know, brick. Like when the point guard clanks the ball off the rim.
John Kelso’s column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 445-3606 or jkelso@statesman.com.
For the link to the original article click here.
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GO WILDCATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To everyone in the TLeC community, have a great weekend! And get off the couch once in awhile between games.
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