In Part One of my interview with Lori Hoeck, family caregiver for her mom, age 79, she candidly told us how her life has changed and shared the daily caregiving challenges she and her husband face.

Now we will move on to another subject — the rewards she’s received from being a caregiver, as well as advice for anyone who sees themselves becoming caregivers to their aging parents in the future.

Welcome back and thank you again for your time and honesty in sharing your story with us!

You’ve really had your hands full in so many ways, Lori. What advice would you give my readers if they see themselves becoming family caregivers in the near or distant future?

Understand the process of grief.

The paradigm shift from seeing a strong, independent adult who changed your diapers, wiped your nose, and shaped your life suddenly or gradually change into a person who is more dependent, sometimes helpless, or exhibits an altered personality is tough and often gut-wrenching.

It is important to understand the grief you will be going through as they decline physically, mentally, or emotionally is a process yourself and the loved one you are caring for are both experiencing! The stages of grief are:

Denial (this isn’t happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
Depression (I don’t care anymore)
Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)

It’s OK, just don’t get stuck in one of the first four stages forever. Also, try to understand how each state can negatively affect your relationships with family as well as friends.

Change your perspective.

My husband had this insight one day from God: “Why get angry at the tree when it loses its leaves? It is not the tree’s fault; it’s just the way it is.” These words help my husband realize much of my mom’s way of being isn’t her fault, and he can turn his mind away from negative thoughts like:

• She is being this way purposely
• She isn’t trying hard enough
• She is just seeking attention
• She should act more mature

Because, whether she is or isn’t acting these ways, it doesn’t matter. Instead, we have to say to ourselves, “How can we make this time of her life happier and less stressful?” Such revelations help caregivers to learn to roll with the punches – and surrender to the reality of the changes (but never to the illness).

I love this tree analogy, Lori! It is so true and adds so much compassion to the relationship. Your husband is a very special person to realize it and state it so beautifully.

Take care of yourself first!

For me, it’s like I learned in EMT training: When you arrive on an emergency scene keep yourself safe and healthy, because if you don’t, you won’t be able to help others and will probably tie up emergency resources that could be used to help the original victims. If you give all you’ve got to care-giving, you may become sick or burned out and not able to function in that capacity any more.

What do you do for self-care, Lori?

• Exercise

• Journal writing

• Maintain a decent, healthy diet, but nothing too stressfully strict

• My husband will take my mom out for a few hours so I have the house to myself

• My husband has a healing touch with acupressure points, reflexology, and massage, so his loving TLC helps immensely

• The biggest self-care is an understanding of health from many years of searching for an answer to my depression. From that, and as a third degree black belt, I know myself pretty well. I firmly believe in what Louise Hay writes on the emotional triggers behind health issues — basically she says that we are more responsible for our own health than we realize. To this end,

• I take certain vitamins and supplements that are effective for me

• We all use the highly therapeutic Young Living Essential Oils for wellness

• I clean with products that aren’t filled with nasty chemicals

• I use an assortment of leading edge mental health therapies on myself such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP)

• I know my heart and mind well enough to ask for help if my outlook sinks too low

Don’t let guilt guide you.

Guilt is useless if it pulls you down, makes you beat yourself up, or is used as a manipulation tool by others. I’ve learned that guilt only has value when it’s a bone-marrow deep motivator for positive change.

Get support.

Family may or may not support you. Their excuses will seem lame, they seem not to understand how much effort is involved, and they will seem to be more interested in not being inconvenienced. Or you may be too protective – addicted to being the do-gooder — so you let yourself become overwhelmed.

Either way, seek help. I could not do this without an amazing, loving husband to who has had to grow up just as fast as I in all this. Our maturity levels, ability to laugh at even the toughest times, and our closeness to God and each other has skyrocketed in the past few years. We are both convinced such change came only with help from God. We can’t take credit for coming through the tough times and staying sane and more loving toward each other and my mom.

It’s nice that your faith has helped you through this experience, Lori.

And what is the most rewarding or enjoyable part of caregiving for you?

For a long time, I endured caregiving as a duty-bound and loving daughter, so the only reward was in knowing I was doing the right thing, and that for the most part, I did it all quite well. I make a great caregiver because as a perfectionist, I tend to find the best ways to do it for all involved. That only gets you so far.

There are times when the duty becomes a drudgery that is draining mentally, physically, and emotionally. None of that was rewarding or enjoyable at the time, but as my husband and I sought to put the whole situation and our mindsets into God’s hands, we slowly grew through it all. We both explored our inner workings and sought to develop personally so that any anger, impatience, or wanting to control the situation lessened.

Looking back, I still can’t see any milestones, I just know my husband and I are far better people for being caregivers. Knowing we can now provide care for my mother on a more life-enriching level – instead of just out of duty – means that all of us benefit.

Lori, thank you for sharing your family’s personal story with us. Each caregiving journey is different, but it is always comforting to know others are “in the trenches” with us and to learn from their experiences. Please leave your comments and questions for Lori below.

Lori Hoeck writes as SpaceAgeSage at her personal development blog SpaceAgeSage.com. Please read more of what she’s written there or subscribe to her RSS feed here.

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Update: To read my next interview with a family caregiver, click here now.

A man moves into a Florida nudist colony.

He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.

The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo!

He’s really worried, but then remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is and hopes she won’t notice.

Several days later he receives a letter from his grandmother.

It says: “Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle . . . It makes your nose look too short.”

Love,
Grandma

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ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

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California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as PINOT MORE.

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To Everyone in the TLeC community, have a great weekend!

On Monday we will have Part Two of my interview with Lori Hoeck titled “One Caregiver’s Story.” You can read Part One here.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

~ Melodie Beattie

This video gets a two thumbs up from me!

The idea of showing gratitude to the people in our lives who stand right before us is powerful and one to strive for each day.

How difficult is it to say “Thanks” to those people who cross our path multiple times in one day, or even just occasionally? To those we know well or strangers? To family members or new neighbors?

If you can’t find the words or feel awkward saying them, this video is absolutely right — a hand gesture, a wink of the eye, or even a special smile can get your message of appreciation across.

My Personal List of “Thank You’s” for Thanksgiving 2008

These people have helped me create and maintain the absolutely wonderful life I am living!

My precious husband, son, Mom, and extended family whom I cherish more than I can say

My circles of friends living far & wide, “old” friends and new, those met online whom I haven’t met in person (yet) to my weekly neighborhood Mah Jongg mavens

My wellness group — dentist, doctors, pharmacists, yoga and dance teachers, dance partners & those who share my love of music, meditation and movement, be it fast or slow

My financial advisors — bankers, stock brokers, financial planners, accountant and their staffs

My “maintenance” crew — postal delivery person, computer technician & designer, housekeeper and hairdresser

My caregiving support system — loving caregivers for my Mom and the board & care administration; Alzheimer’s Association staff, support group and acquaintances; hospice nurses social worker and entire staff; and my Mom’s doctor who still makes house calls

My spiritual advisors — Rabbis, Cantor, synagogue staff and friends, and God, of course!

My ancestors and dear friends who are no longer with me on earth but will live forever in my heart!

And you, my dear readers and new blogosphere friends, who inspire me by stopping by, reading my words and adding your thoughts to the TLeC community!

I appreciate you all year round, but I want to publicly express my deepest gratitude today.

Who will you be thanking this year?

Let them feel your gratitude, no matter how you show it!

In honor of National Family Caregivers Month, I am shining the spotlight on a family caregiver who I’ve gotten to know in the blogosphere, Lori Hoeck. Lori is a loyal reader of my blog and in her first comment here told me that she and her husband are family caregivers for her mother, age 79, who has lived with them for many years. Check out her mom’s high school photo! Lori has graciously agreed to answer my questions and share their caregiving journey with us.

Welcome, Lori! How and when did caregiving start for you?

After living with my husband and me for a few years as a very independent, much-traveling woman, my mother suffered a stroke in 2001 while visiting family. EMT’s transported her to the hospital where they gave her tPA, which dissolves stroke-causing blood clots. She suffered no physical deficits.

After she returned home with us, she had a Transient Ischemic Attack. Coming on the heels of the stroke, the TIA left her with a lot of mental deficits, including a major reduction in sequencing skills. Making change, remembering the order of things, and staying on task were abilities my Mom had that dropped radically after the TIA. Recovery was slow, but eventually she was able to drive a car short distances and be very independent, able to fix meals, and keep up with her own housekeeping. About two years ago, though, her short-term memory started to decline fairly quickly and she gave up driving. Presently she is taking the drug Aricept which seems to slow the decline.

What are some ways your life has changed since you became your mother’s caregiver?

The residual deficits in sequencing skills plus the short-term memory loss meant pots were left on the stove top too long, microwave time settings had an extra zero added, and perishable foods were left out of the refrigerator too long. We’ve gone through four microwaves, three coffee pots, and tossed out lots of food, some of which went in the trash after we got sick. Also:

• I’ve found the dishwasher with dish soap that has bubbled up and overflowed in the dishwasher, which then plays havoc with the water indicator so the heating coil starts cooking the bubbles.
• She’s tried to starch her clothes while ironing with a can of window cleaner.
• Our cats became sick after she cleaned the bathtub, but did not rinse it well enough, and the cats walked in the tub and then licked their paws.

Since these occurrences, I’ve locked up most of the household chemicals and cleaners, taken over all cooking and kitchen cleaning (not that this stops her from trying!), and had to take extra care to watch out for the health and well-being of our cats. Her physical health is great, but it’s unsafe for her to be alone for extended periods, such as overnight. I work out of our home as a freelance writer, so she is rarely alone for more than 3-4 hours.

What do you find is the most challenging aspect of caregiving?

• Knowing it will never get better, I will never have my mom back the way she was, and I can never talk with her the same ever again
• I must be the parental figure now in so many ways, but still provide as much dignity to the process as possible for her
• Having to be proactive, prevention minded, and as patient as the Biblical character Job as I handle her money, legal, and medical issues
• Trying to set boundaries, establish a routine, or figure out her state of mind, since it’s often impossible
• She regresses to words and emotions of childhood sometimes. It makes her very fragile emotionally, and yet she can be as stubborn as a teenager and equally insistent, often taking too many things personally
• Having family members think she is at a higher functioning level than she really is, so they see our precautions as either unnecessary or too controlling
• Her tendency to be forgetful of things – sometimes within seconds — and yet still fixate on things like housekeeping, the weather, and our extended family’s problems

The biggest challenge, however, is working with the combination of her personality and the memory deficits. My mom comes from a family culture where you endured silently any aches, pains, or misfortune. Hiding behind a mask was learned from an early age.

• I may find my mom crying, but she will try to stop and then clam up about it.
• I might point out an obvious fact, but she will deny it, laugh it off, or ignore it by going into her room and pouting for a short time.
• I will try to help her, but she refuses, brushing off my assistance with “Oh no, that’s fine. I can get it.”

Her state of mind, her masking skills, and her memory loss combine, and as a result the rules of interaction are always changing or don’t exist – as soon as one is set, it changes. For example, I’ve asked her if she wanted to go with me on errands in an hour or so (because she takes time to get ready), and she might say no. At that point, I may make new plans that don’t include her, but if I don’t leave right away, I may see her come out of her room all dressed up telling me, “OK, I’m ready to go.”

One day she wanted a fast-food burger, so I took her to a Wendy’s drive-thru, but for some reason the chicken sandwiches appealed to her and, despite my reminding her that she really wanted a burger, she got a chicken sandwich. I triple-checked with her that the chicken was what she really wanted. We drove a few miles to a scenic overlook and parked the car to eat and look at the view. I pulled out her wrapped up sandwich and handed it to her. She peeled back the paper, looked puzzled, and exclaimed in a totally surprised voice, “This is not a hamburger!”

If at anytime in these two incidences I had pointed out her change of mind, she would have become defensive, taken it personally, and withdrawn emotionally – until she forgot about it again. I wrote in my blog that it is often like living in a not-so-funny Saturday Night Live skit.

I think you’ll agree, Lori writes from her heart. Thank you for being so open and honest with us, Lori. She has graciously agreed to answer questions you have for her in the comment section below. So please don’t be shy.

You can read more of Lori’s captivating writing on her personal development blog at SpaceAgeSage.com. We will continue with Part 2 of my interview with Lori next week, so stay tuned!

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00…on one condition.”

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man’s hand along with her address.

She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said . . .

“Clean my house.”

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The following HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it’s your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won’t latch. It doesn’t matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!

The dispenser for the modern “seat covers” (invented by someone’s mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn’t – so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume “The Stance.”

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You’d love to sit down, but you certainly hadn’t taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold “The Stance.”

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother’s voice saying, “Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!” Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday – the one that’s still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It’s still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn’t work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. “Occupied!” you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT . . .

It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it’s too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper – not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you’re certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly dear, “You just don’t KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.”

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl and spraying a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You’re soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You’re exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can’t figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??)

You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman’s hand and tell her warmly, “Here, you just might need this.”

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men’s restroom. Annoyed, he asks, “What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?”

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you’ve GOT to be kidding!!).

It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It’s so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

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To everyone in the TLeC community, have a great weekend!

Since November is National Family Caregivers Month, I want to focus on the many wonderful caregivers in the world and provide extra support for them, too.

Let’s start with how to help decrease caregivers’ stress!

If you are a family caregiver, please answer these quick questions. (Don’t worry you don’t have to tell me the answers — it’s just for you, so be honest!)

As a caregiver for your aging parents, spouse or relatives, do you regularly:

• Feel like you have to do it all yourself, and that you should be doing more?

• Withdraw from family, friends and activities that you used to enjoy?

• Feel anxious about money and health care decisions?

• Have health problems that are taking a toll on you mentally and physically?

• Feel grief or sadness that your relationship with your Golden Oldie isn’t what it used to be?

If you have answered “Yes!” to any of these questions, there are a huge number of resources at your computer fingertips through the Alzheimer’s Association. The Association has just launched a new resource to help identify and relieve the physical and emotional stress caregivers experience, and it’s called Caregiver Stress Check.

Caregiver Stress Check is a first-of-its-kind, interactive quiz caregivers take to identify their own personal symptoms of stress and then it provides a tailored list of helpful referrals and resources. The quiz can be accessed here.

“But my aging parent doesn’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.”

Take this quiz anyway!

I have reviewed all of the 20 detailed resources provided, and yes, some of them are directed towards caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients, but more than half of these resources can be helpful for everyone who is a caregiver for their aging parents or spouse, no matter what disease the care recipient may have. Even if your Golden Oldies are physically healthy, aging gracefully and you are providing “just a little help,” the pressure can sneak up on you.

The Stress Check uncovers symptoms that all caregivers experience: overwhelm, withdrawal, worry, denial, frustration, anxiety, anger, sadness and grief.

The resource lists are detailed and available in many formats, such as both online and printable care guides, calendars, brochures, reports, plus message boards and DVD’s.

If you are a family caregiver, chances are you feel different degress of stress from time to time — if not all the time. Please utilize this excellent resource when you are feeling physically and/or emotionally worn out. I’m there with you — I experience caregiver stress and have started to dig into these resources.

Please forward this information to other caregivers you know. It can be your gift to a caregiver for National Family Caregivers Month, and it will definitely be a gift that keeps on giving!

If you are a caregiver, please leave your feedback about the Stress Check in the comments below.

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Photo Credit: gotplaid?’s photostream

Outside Resource:

Alzheimer’s Association — November is National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month

“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.”

~ Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

With gratitude to Lance Ekum at The Jungle of Life for unearthing this poem!

Before watching this documentary I thought it was going to be an investigative report focused on elder abuse, and I was surprised to find out it is much more comprehensive than that!

In fact, I wish a major TV network or PBS would air this eye-opening documentary during prime time because it is filled with important information about eldercare in America.

What Does It Cover?

By the year 2010, there will be 40.2 million Americans over the age of 65. And by the year 2030, there will be 71.4 million Americans over 65. Nearly double the amount of senior citizens will be added to the U.S. population in only 20 years!

This documentary explains how financial abuse is committed against our senior citizens: by predatory caregivers, crooked conservators, telemarketing hoaxes and a variety of other scams by ex-cons and con artists. Our Golden Oldies can be robbed of their entire life savings, homes and even their lives if they become the victims of such schemes.

The producers provide many excellent tips on how to prevent financial elder abuse, and include topics such as alternative long-term living arrangements for our Golden Oldies, the role and importance of geriatric care managers, and a touching story about former President Ronald Reagan and his son, Michael.

What Makes It Different?

The many personal stories woven throughout the documentary are what really stayed with me for days after I first watched it.

One of the most interesting segments for me was about Lloyd Drum, age 76, a recovering hoarder. His favorite collectibles were TV sets and bicycles. At one time Lloyd had 5,000 bicycles and bike parts inside his house and he slept in a reclining chair on the front porch! His hoarding habit created a life safety issue, and potentially legal consequences. Hoarding is defined as “the acquisition and failure to discard items that most people would consider useless or of limited value” and is a self-created abuse. His story was a real eye-opener!

Another story told is about Bertra Frank Latham, who suffered severe neglect at a nursing home when his wife (and primary caregiver) needed surgery and could no longer care for him herself. His family shares the hard lessons they learned through this bad experience and provides insight into how to select a nursing home for our Golden Oldies.

It’s not all “gloom and doom” however. There is a very uplifting segment in which Art Linkletter urges seniors, “Don’t retire from life. Stay busy. Stay interested.” Having a positive attitude as our Golden Oldies age and keeping families involved with their Golden Oldies are two keys to a higher quality of life.

Who Should Watch This DVD?

Everyone!

This speaks to our Golden Oldies about keeping a positive attitude, remaining active, and learning about potential scams so as not to fall prey to them.

This DVD speaks to us, their adult children, who are already caring for them or starting to plan for that experience, and who need to learn as much as we can about many aspects of eldercare.

And it speaks to the grandchildren who can learn how to help both their parents and grandparents go through the aging process.

Please go to Saving Our Parents right now and order this DVD as gifts for the people you love. Yes, yourself included. (Or you can click on the E-store link at the top of this page to order it there. I will make a few cents from the sale if you do.)

And after viewing it, pass it along to another family who will benefit from it.

If you belong to a club or organization, ask them to show it at their next meeting. And if you are a professional working with seniors, share the DVD with your co-workers and management team.

Saving our Parents is a wake up call that will help many people.

A Love Letter

I will seek and find you . .

I will take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop!

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu

Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get YOUR flu shot!

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An elderly man in West Virginia had owned a large farm for several
years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for
swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts,
and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t
been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon
bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices
shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a
bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all quickly went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, ‘”We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Senior men still think fast.

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A Game to Play in Bed

An elderly, married couple no sooner hit the pillows, when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven points.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”

The old man replied, “It’s fart football.”

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha! I’m ahead 14 to 7.”

Not to be outdone, the wife rips another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, “What the heck was that?”

The old man says, “Half time, switch sides!”

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To everyone in the TLeC community, have a great weekend!

Technorati Profile

Instead of Wednesday’s usual “Inspiring Quotes for Caregivers” I am sharing a few other inspirational thoughts with you to recognize and honor the many millions of family caregivers worldwide.

A Proclamation by the President of the United States

During National Family Caregivers Month we recognize and celebrate the many individuals throughout our country who work each day to ensure a better quality of life for their family members. Through their selfless action, these caregivers provide their loved ones support and comfort as they age, combat illness, or suffer from disability.

Our Nation is compassionate, and we believe in the sanctity of life at all stages. Through tireless efforts and inspiring deeds, many Americans care for loved ones in need. By acting as in-home care providers, people across our Nation are helping to ensure that their family members are provided with love, comfort, and security . . .

National Family Caregivers Month is an opportunity to recognize those who serve a cause greater than self and contribute to the well-being of their loved ones. Family caregivers are soldiers in America’s armies of compassion and set an inspiring example for their fellow citizens.

~ George W. Bush

Ways to Celebrate National Family Caregivers Month 2008

The following ideas will help you create a successful National Family Caregivers Month in your community and to celebrate caregivers you know. If you take action on even one or two of these items, I bet your efforts will be greatly appreciated!

1. “Adopt a caregiver” by sending a heartfelt card or flowers to brighten up their day. Or by offering a few hours of respite time so they can spend time with friends, or get some rest and relaxation in any way they choose. Visit the Adopt a Caregiver blog for more ideas.

2. Help a family caregiver find information and resources locally or on the internet. Help them to locate a support group they can attend.

3. Ask local business people you know to offer a free service for family caregivers through the month of November. Actually, make that all year if possible!

4. Participate in the National Family Caregivers Association’s FREE national teleclass to learn how to communicate more effectively with health care professionals. The two free one-hour sessions will be held on November 6th and 13th at 2:00 pm EST. For more information, click here.

5. Offer some laughs for comic relief. Have them read my Funny Fridays posts and then present them with tickets to a local comedy club or a funny movie. Give them a DVD of a comedy movie, or a CD or book by their favorite comedian(s).

6. Find 12 different family photos and have a copy center create a monthly calendar that the caregiver can use to keep track of appointments and events.

7. Invite the caregiver and their family to your Thanksgiving celebration. Or offer to prepare Thanksgiving dinner and bring it over to their home, so they can just relax and enjoy the holiday.

8. Help a family caregiver decorate their home for the holidays, or offer to address envelopes for their holiday cards.

A Personal Tribute by Linda Abbit

What is Caregiving?

C is for caring more for others than for yourself

A is for appreciating that all human beings deserve dignity and respect

R is for respite which you need to refresh your body and mind

E is for excellence in all you do for the care recipient

G is for going the extra mile day in and day out

I is for inventing creative solutions to challenging situations

V is for victory over negative and self-defeating thoughts

I is for inspiring others to care more deeply

N is for not giving up when others would in such trying circumstances, and

G is for our gratitude for the TLC you give to others each and every day!

If you have ideas about how to help or honor a family caregiver this month, please share them in the comment section below.

If you are a family caregiver, what has someone done to help or honor you that really touched your heart?

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Photo Credit: aussiegall’s photostream

Outside Resource: National Family Caregivers Association