Some friends bought their mother, another Golden Oldie whom I know and adore,  a cell phone – mainly to keep with her when she was out and about in case of emergency.  They purchased the phone and service, charged the phone, and went over the instructions for use in detail with their mom. 

P.S.  To their great frustration, their mom never used the cell phone and they wound up returning it! 

Sound familiar?  

If your Golden Oldies need a phone that is easy-to-use as well as easy-to-read, check out the Jitterbug cell phone by Great Call.  No extra frills like cameras, browsing the internet or text messaging; it was created and designed to meet the needs of our aging parents whose hearing, sight, and/or eye-hand coordination may be slowly diminishing. 

Watch this quick commercial by Jitterbug below to see it in action:

Jitterbug cell phones come in two models and they both feature:

• Bright screens with large text and numbers for easy viewing
• Powerful speakers for clear sound
• Soft-ear cushions that shield outside noise and make it hearing-aide compatible
• Large (fingertip size), backlit and bright buttons make dialing easier
• On/Off switch with a familiar dial tone so you know it’s on
• Yes/No buttons for easy navigation
• Operator button to reach a live Jitterbug operator 24/7 who can make calls, provide directory assistance and add names to phone lists

The One Touch model simplifies the design even more by having only three large buttons.  One connects to the Operator, the other to 9-1-1 and the third to a preprogrammed number of your choice.

Battery life is good, approximately 3+ hours of continuous talk time.  The only negative physical feature is that the plug-in connection to the phone charger appears small.

Even Jitterbug’s web site is clear, easy-to-read, has detailed phone demonstrations, an extensive Frequently Asked Questions section, customer support contacts, and a store locator to find out where to purchase one.

Each model costs $147, with no long-term service contract needed.  Service, also provided through Jitterbug, starts as low as $10/month, although usage charges apply.  There is a $35 one-time set up fee. If not satisfied with the phone, they have a “friendly 30 day return policy.”

A girlfriend who bought her Mom a Jitterbug phone told me,

“Customer service was great.  You have the option of calling them to set up all your speed dial numbers or doing it over the internet.  You can add and delete numbers at any time . . . I think they are used to working with older people and had tons of patience.”

Our aging parents’ needs and abilities vary tremendously.  If your parent is still active and wants to stay in touch with family and friends, it could be a great asset.  However, if your parent is starting to show signs of memory loss, it may be too difficult for them to use even the One Touch Jitterbug model.  I think it should be fairly easy for you and your parents to decide whether the Jitterbug cell phone is something to consider trying.  

And, it would make a wonderful birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or anniversary gift to Golden Oldies, while insuring our peace of mind that they can be reached, or reach you, whenever desired.

An important tip for cell phone users of all ages:  Use the light from your phone screen as a flashlight if you’re caught short without enough light.  I must give credit to my husband, who first used his cell phone screen light in a dimly-lit restaurant when we couldn’t read the fine print on the menu! 

Have you or anyone you know bought a Jitterbug?  What has been your experience? I welcome your comments below.

Here’s to more Tender Loving Eldercare in our world!

This is Part 3 of a 3 part series on this topic.

Click here to see Part 1.  Click here to see Part 2.

When my Dad had surgery to replace his broken hip at age 95, he spent one week in the hospital recuperating and then almost two more weeks in a rehabilitation facility.  We were all ecstatic when he was told he could go home! 

Then it got rather interesting.  I had to look at many facets of my Dad’s daily living with a new perspective because the rehab nurse handed me a 38 page manual covering the basics of post-operative home care for hip replacement patients.  It included precautions, exercises, transfer techniques (i.e., getting in and out of bed, cars and chairs), walking with a walker, stair-climbing (thankfully he didn’t have stairs at home), dressing and bathing.  Yikes! 

Things I’ve learned from this experience (and also when my Mom was hospitalized briefly) that can help you and your aging parent in this transition from hospital or rehab facility to home are:

• Meet with the doctor, nurses, physical and occupational therapists to get clear written and verbal instructions your Golden Oldie will have to follow at home, and for how long.  Will it be just until a re-check with the doctor in a few days or for weeks, perhaps months, until fully recovered? 

• If possible, attend physical and/or occupational therapy sessions before your parent is sent home.  The more information you can take in about your parents’ physical needs, the easier it will make it at home.  Some people learn best by watching, not just talking with the therapists.  They will be happy to have you “practice” with your parent in front of them to be sure you and your parent understand.  For example, a simple thing we do every day, such as sitting on the edge of a bed, bending over and tying one’s shoes was a definite “no-no” for my Dad after hip replacement surgery.  Another thing I learned was how my Dad should use the walker when getting up or sitting down in a chair.  None of us had ever even owned a walker before.  Some Golden Oldies may need a wheelchair when they first leave the hospital, and properly using one is another learning curve for you all to tackle.  I’m the worst at steering those things (with no reflection on my car driving abilities however!).

• Anticipate how any new medical equipment your parent needs will fit into their home environment.  For example, will the wheelchair be able to roll into the bathroom they use the most, or is the doorway too narrow?  If they need a hospital bed, coordinate with the hospital staff to see that it is ordered, delivered and set up before discharge.   Will they need a commode temporarily near the bed?  Will they be able to go into the kitchen to eat or will they need a tray to eat meals in bed at first?

• Hospitals and rehabilitation facilities are usually very good at going over medications with the patient and family before discharge.  Be sure you are present when this is done, because your Golden Oldie may be weak or unable to concentrate fully at discharge time.  You should be the “technical interpreter” and be clear about the names of all medications, what they are for, dosages, when they are taken, and other special instructions (such as take only on an empty stomach).  There may also be special dietary items and/or restrictions you should learn as well. The staff may  be willing to call in the prescriptions to your favorite pharmacy right before discharge.  You can then pick them up on the way home, and not have to leave your parent alone at home because you need to fill their prescriptions.  It won’t hurt to ask if the nurses can make the phone call for you.

• Sometimes the smallest things make a huge difference!  At the time of my Dad’s hip replacement surgery, our family had a mini-van and a sedan automobile.   I had always used the sedan to take my parents out and about on errands.  However, after the surgery, it was much easier for Dad to get in and out of the mini-van.  Because the seat was higher it was easier to slide onto the seat, plus it met the important post-surgical hip precautions.  The sedan’s seat was 1) too low, and 2) could not be moved back far enough to give him adequate leg room.  You may even need to have someone else drive you and your parent home.

• Your Golden Oldie may be weak when they first arrive home — very happy and relieved, but weak and/or slightly disoriented from their ordeal.  Just as you did when they were in the hospital, if you feel they need extra TLC for awhile, arrange with other family, neighbors and/or friends to spend the first few days with them until you are certain they are able to manage again on their own for longer periods of time. They will hopefully bounce back quickly from whatever setback they had and resume their normal activities.

• Last but not least — food!  If you can stock your parent’s refrigerator with the staples that will also save you both a trip to the grocery store that first day home.  Even better, if you have time, prepare some of their favorite foods to fill the frig.  Classic comfort foods, such as meatloaf, mashed potatoes, pot pies, chicken noodle soup, beef stew, macaroni and cheese or other pasta, and casseroles may appeal.  Of course, be sure your Golden Oldie doesn’t have any dietary restrictions to follow, and if they do, be sure the foods you prepare or buy follow all of the requirements. 

The key to making this transition go smoothly is for you to anticipate as much as you can.  As I mentioned in Part 1 of this series, thoughtful planning makes everything less stressful when faced with family emergencies or challenges.  You’ll usually have an idea when your Golden Oldie will be discharged, so use that time to your advantage. 

And remember, being home and surrounded by familiar people and things is great medicine for our Golden Oldies!

Warmly,

Linda

This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida.

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it!  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second threat.  They got out and ran like mad.  The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. 

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.  She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why.  It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story?  If you’re going to have a senior moment . . . make it memorable!

**********************************************

OK, gotcha!  According to the web site Snopes.com the above story is an urban legend.  But it did make me laugh.  How about you?

Cheers,

Linda

A good deed is never lost: he who sows
courtesy reaps friendship; and he who
plants kindness gathers love.

                          –Basil

Often times in life everything comes full circle.  Our parents kept us safe when we were youngsters, and now it is our turn to be sure our Golden Oldies’ homes are as safe as possible for them as they age.  The goal is to allow them to live safely in their own homes (or age in place) as long as possible!

Many seniors have diminishing eyesight, hearing and/or reflexes, plus are at a higher risk for falls.  Since June is National Home Safety Month,  here is a checklist to review with (or without) your parents to assess how safe their homes are.

• Install handrails in stairways and grab bars in the bathroom near the toilet, in the shower and and along the tub.  Be sure they are installed at the correct height for your parents’ use (not based on your height).
• Keep all rooms and hallways where your Golden Oldies walk and/or read well lit.  Be sure lighting inside and outside the home is more than adequate.  Place night lights as needed in the bathroom, bedroom, hallway and/or kitchen if you know your parents walk around during the night. (Don’t we all at some time?)
• Make entryways safe — from the curb all the way through the front door.  Are the walkways and steps smooth and without bumps, cracks or missing pieces?  Lighting is also vital outdoors at night.  Consider installing motion-sensor lights in the front, side and/or back yards.  If there are handrails outside, be sure they are in good repair.  Consider adding them if you think they will increase safety.  You may also want to add a ramp if there are steps up to the front door in order to plan ahead “just in case.” Or put fluorescent tape on the edge of steps to make them extra visible.
• Watch for worn carpeting, linoleum, wood flooring or tiles and replace them immediately.  Seniors may catch their feet easily and fall.  Use non-skid throw rugs to reduce the chance of slipping on linoleum.

According to the National Safety Council, “Each week, nearly 60,000 people older than 65 seek medical attention for a fall and more than 300 die from fall-related injuries.”  The risk of falling increases if seniors are in stocking feet or barefoot.  So encourage them to wear proper footwear, preferably athletic shoes or shoes with rubber soles.  The Council also recommends we monitor medications our parents are taking because studies show older adults who take more than four medications are at a high risk for falls.

An idea I have is to do a thorough safety check from the street all throughout our parents’ homes with dark sunglasses on, to simulate diminished light (or eyesight).  It’s a perspective on how things may actually look through the eyes of our Golden Oldies.  While doing so, also check for furniture or other clutter that could be in the way of their natural walking patterns inside and outside.

Let’s make every month National Safety Month when it comes to our Golden Oldies.

Here’s to more TLeC, or Tender Loving ElderCare!

This is Part 2 of a 3 part series on this topic.

Click here for Part 1.  Click here for Part 3.

Being in the hospital can be scary for people of all ages.  If your aging parent is hospitalized for even a short time, here are some things you can do to make it easier for them. 

• Bring some favorite things from home to decorate the stark hospital room.  This can include family photos to be put near the bed where they can easily see them, a special throw blanket or pillow(s), and flowers or plants.   Have your children, nieces or nephews make Get Well cards to display.  An iPod or small CD player may also be brought in loaded with their favorite music.
• Many hospital rooms have a combination bulletin board/white board on the wall facing the patient’s bed.  If so,  write messages to your parent to read while you’re away.  Use a thick black or dark marker and write in large print on the white board because often times they don’t wear their eyeglasses when in the hospital.  I would write something like “Dad, Follow doctors’ orders and keep getting well fast.  I will be back at 6:00 pm today with Jeff and Robbie to visit.”  When I left in the evening I would write, “Have a good sleep and sweet dreams.  I will be here in the morning at 9:00 am to visit.”  The bulletin board side is perfect to hang Get Well cards on, so bring some thumbtacks from home.
• Along with creating a friendlier and more interesting physical environment, I believe it is vital to create a positive-thinking environment when visiting.  Try your best to be positive, upbeat and calm in front of your parent, because I truly believe they read and pick up on our “vibes.”  They are probably already scared by just being the hospital, so by your staying calm and in control it won’t increase their level of anxiety and may even decrease it.  Even if the diagnosis is serious, I believe it is important to stay positive in front of the patient and share your worries or concerns with the hospital staff and doctors when you are sure your parent won’t hear the conversations, either behind closed doors or far down the hall from their room.
• Be a patient extender, the person who helps your parent fully explain him- or herself to the doctors, nurses or other providers.  This goes beyond their medical history or current condition; it includes the “every day” things, such as letting the nurses know they aren’t wearing their hearing aides, but if the staff faces them and speaks slowly the patient can read their lips.  Or, their glasses are for distance, not for close up reading.  Or, they’d prefer apple sauce instead of water to take their medications with.
• Be your aging parents’ advocate.  Write down what the doctors and nurses tell you each time you have a conversation.  Then, write down follow up questions as you and your parent think of them, so that you can be sure to get them answered the next time either MD or RN returns to the room.  Be persistent in getting all of your questions answered clearly and completely! 
• Become a technical interpreter, the person who helps doctors and other providers explain themselves to your parent.  While communicating with the hospital staff and even family members who are visiting, do not talk in front of your parent as if they’re not there and aware of what’s going on!  Even if you think they are asleep or sedated from medication, they may be conscious.  As long as they have the ability to comprehend and participate in the health care decision, include them in the discussions as best as you can.  They may be ill, but they are still alive and have the right to understand and have input about their health care decisions.
• If you are unhappy with something that occurs, speak up in an assertive way.  Remember, your parent probably cannot handle a difficult situation themselves at the moment, so you are representing them and their best interests.  Being assertive yet firm will yield a better result than being unpleasant or aggressive in your approach to the hospital staff.  (As the old saying goes, you get more flies with honey than with vinegar.)  And if you do have a complaint, state it away from your parent’s room so as not to upset them further.  They might not have even realized something upset you, so keep it that way! 
• Depending upon your parent’s age, medical condition and your own daily responsibilities, you may want to hire a companion/health aide/licensed vocational nurse (LVN) through an outside agency to stay with your parent when you or other family members can’t be with them.  Many Golden Oldies may have a decline in their normal level of functioning or get confused temporarily when they are in an unfamiliar environment, and having someone with them (especially during the night) may help.  If you have a large family, try to arrange a schedule for your siblings, their grown children, and/or other family and friends to be with your parent during their stay.  Hopefully any confusion or decline in functioning will return to normal once your aging parent is back in their own home.

Having a parent in the hospital isn’t easy on any family, and not all problems can be prevented.  But hopefully the steps above should help make it an overall more positive experience for everyone involved.  In Part 3 I will cover issues regarding hospital discharge and the transition from hospital to home. 

Here’s to more Tender Loving Eldercare!

Warmly,

Linda

After my last post about how very many roles we play as family caregivers, I just had to post this joke to balance out those stressful thoughts and bring some laughter back into our lives.

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.  He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.  He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.  As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.  Obviously they were thinking, “That poor old couple — all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.”

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the couple.  The old man said they were fine — they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite.  She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally took turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.  This time the old woman said, “No, thank you.  We are used to sharing everything.”

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, “What is it you are waiting for?”

She answered, “The teeth!”

Cheers,

Linda

Do you remember enjoying the classic Dr. Seuss book “The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins” from your childhood?  It came to mind today as I was thinking about how many hats we wear while caring for our aging parents. 

An Institute of Medicine report lists roles that many of us will find familiar:

• Companion
• Coach
• Homemaker
• Scheduler
• Driver
• Decision maker
• Coordinator
• Financial manager
• Health provider
• Attendant
• Monitor
• Patient Extender (the person who helps the patient fully explain him- or herself to the doctors, nurses or other providers)
• Technical interpreter (the person who helps doctors and other providers explain themselves to the patient)

Whew!  It may not actually be 500 hats, but it can certainly feel like it some days.  No wonder family caregivers are so stressed and exhausted at times! 

I thought of one more “hat” to add and that is Correspondent, or the person who writes and sends cards, notes and/or gifts to friends and family members.  I took over this role from my Mom as her Alzheimer’s Disease progressed and she could no longer do it herself.  I also call her friends to keep them updated on her life (and mine) from time to time.  E-mail makes it even easier to do this. 

Can you add other “jobs” to this list that you find yourself doing as you care for your aging parent?  Feel free to comment below.

Warmly,

Linda Abbit

Here’s a little funny to help relieve some caregiver stress.  I try to choose laughter over tears — well, for the most part.

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her — the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, “While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.”

Hope that brings a smile to your face as you face caregiving challenges today.

Warmly,

Linda

People will forget what you said.  People will even
forget what you did.  But people will NEVER
forget how you made them feel.

                                         –Unknown